Topic: There's a tentacle monster in the bathroom...and it's me.
Once upon a time...
...in a modern-day American city...
Joanna had lived in the city all her life, and she was convinced that it was the dullest place in the world. Nothing ever seemed to happen here! And today looked like it was going to be just as dull a day as any other; she'd gotten up, showered, eaten breakfast, and was on her way to work. She paused at a stoplight with a large crowd of other people, looked at her watch, and groaned: She was late.
She decides to be wildly late and goes into a nearby store.
"Welcome," said the strange old woman behind the counter as Joanna walked inside. "We've been expecting you."
"Indeed, it was foretold in the stars that you would come," said the little woman. "But, now, come, I shall not keep you waiting. Behold! Choose which you will!" And she waved her hand at the various shelves in the little shop.
"What is this store?" asked Joanna. "I mean... I just came in here because I'm playing hooky from work."
"You came here because it is your destiny! Now choose!" The little old woman gave her a dark look.
Joanna shrugged and continued down the aisles. The shelves were full of herbs, ointments, and drinks, each in a little vial or bottle, all of a hundred shapes and sizes and colors. They were neatly labeled, too, and she began to read them aloud --- softly --- as she passed them.
"Mermaid scales, satyr tail, centaur hoof, harpy feathers, naga skin... what is all this stuff?"
"It is your destiny," said the old woman solemnly. "One of my wares already selected you before you were born. You must merely find it."
"Leg serum? Head powder? Breast potion? Lady, what the heck are you selling here?"
"It is for you to discover," said the old woman, and wouldn't respond again.
She takes a strange little bottle she can't read.
Among the hundreds of jars and packets that cover the walls Joanna selects a small vial. The tag so small it is practically illedgible.
Joanna says "What is this ..."
The old woman perched her glasses on her nose and peared at the tiny bottle that Joanna held out towards her. Squinting through the thick glass made her face look even older and more wizened.
"Excellent choice dear. That bottle contains ..."
" ... создатель пениса"
The forgien words tumbled forth from the old woman's lips, but Joanna spoke a little Russian. The woman has said ... something .. something maker? She looked at the small glass vial lovingly (if illegibly) labeled and wondered what a tiny bottle like that could possibly make. Was it a concentrate of some kind?
Joanna says "How much ..."
"For you, it is free. After all, it is destiny that brought you here, and who would stand in the way of destiny?" she replied cryptically. She then shoes Joanna out of her store, like an old woman with a stubborn cat.
Joanna shook her head. "Crazy old lady .. how does she expect to make any money giving things away."
Joanna glances at her watch, she was now definately and truely late for work, but the crowd on the street had thinned out so she wasn't surrounded.
Item forgotten Joanna hurries to work
The city was boring .. dull as dishwater .. and while loosing her job might make it a little more exciting .. it would also make it a heck of a lot less livable. Breathing a resigned sigh she tucked the tappered vial into her purse made her way to the towering edifice that housed her cubicle and coworkers. She fought her way against the 10 o’clock tide of nicotine addicts and into the elevators.
Riding the elevator up she pulled the potion bottle filled with glistening fluid out and turned it over in her hands. Curiosity and practicallity were struggling as the elevator doors pinged and slid open.
The doors opened onto a sea of nearly empty cubicles. The smell of coffee was nearly intoxicating.
A cheerful hello to her fellow office drones and she got to work
The doors opened onto a sea of nearly empty cubicles. The smell of coffee was nearly intoxicating. She was filling a cup with steamy darkness when Chloe sidled up behind her. “You know one of these days Mr. Anderson is going to notice you coming in late.” Her friend jokingly chided her.
Joanna shrugged noncommittally and the friends chatted as they walked back to their cubicles.
Joanna puts some of the potion in her coffee
Joanna popped off the cap and a faint fruity spice smell like apple liqueur wafted up from the open lid. She poured some of the vial into her coffee, wanting the comforting homey flavor inside her.
She starts to change as soon as she tastes it