1 (edited by finaro 2019-06-12 21:19)

Topic: Story Excerpt I've put together

Here's a story excerpt I've put together that is inspired by Demon Man's "Greatest Show" which is the sort of transformation stories I enjoy the most although it's rather similar to Belial although maybe not taking place in that world but it still deals with the Extreme Transformation theme which the creatures here I'm focusing on is less sexual based but more focused on grotesque lovecraften like abominations instead but of course unlike Belial I would also allow the Transformations themselves being reversible although I would define "permanency" as in they would remain that form until a external force changes them back of course.

Anyways without further ado

"Please disrobe and step into the machine”

Maddie quickly disrobed her dress and beheld her form the one last time, she was a voluptuous beauty, young and with an amazing hourglass figure. Her large breasts were surprisingly firm and her butt well rounded, while what stood before her is the box that would change all that which the thought excited her as her nipples are visibly hard and she felt a slight itch on her labia as it was wet while maintaining a professionally elegant composure.

“Thank you and it’s been a pleasure” she said to the host as she slowly stepped into the threshold and turned back and posed to the audience as she smiled and waved goodbye as a normal human as the audience felt aroused by her sight for now as the door closed and she saw Thank you and it’s been a pleasure,” she said to the host as she slowly stepped over the threshold. Maddie turned around and posed to the audience with a smile and waved goodbye. The audience felt aroused seeing her for the last time as a normal human. herself reflected from the mirror as her heart was pounding with excitement.

Suddenly the machine hummed to life and the fog started building above her as she can feel a tingling creeping up towards her legs and then quickly turned into a pleasurable sensation as she began to reach for her labia and stroked it as the fog reached passed her hips and then she started to grab her breast “Mmm…ohhh…yess”. The fog was now up to her breasts and she viewed herself one last time and smiled deeply to herself as the fog completely engulfed her "Mmmm...I feel so..strange...ughnn..yes" and then that’s when the changes began.

In amidst the Fog, Maddie could all the sudden feel powerful sensations of her flesh shifting and moving and ‘exploding’ spiraling out of control that she never felt in her entire life and all of this was making her horny beyond measure only if she had a normal human form of course.
The machine stopped and the doors opened as the fog cleared out, what slithered out made the audience gasp in horror as this was once a attractive young voluptuous goth woman was now a slimy, quivering mass, uneven in shape and with discolored, warty skin. If anything, she resembled a giant tumor. The surface was covered in a random selection of eyes and writhing tentacles, at least a dozen of each. Crawling forwards like some huge tongue or disgusting worm, she, no it, for there was no sign of any genitalia, approached the host. Despite its form, its mind was unaltered. “How do you feel” asked the host

“I feel…disgustingly aroused” It replied in a gurgling vomiting like voice.
.

Anyways any suggestions?

2

Re: Story Excerpt I've put together

Not a bad start. I'm not sure what you mean by suggestions. Suggestions of other transformations, or comments about the one already described?

3

Re: Story Excerpt I've put together

Rexin wrote:

Not a bad start. I'm not sure what you mean by suggestions. Suggestions of other transformations, or comments about the one already described?

All of the above maybe?

Or rather I have a hard time describing the female characters at times regarding their body shape, breast cup size and if it's plausible they look that way as if  need some type of guide or graph so I'll have a easier time describing their bodies that is.

4

Re: Story Excerpt I've put together

My personal opinion is that there is no need to add all the details regarding their look. The exact size of their breasts, if they have a button nose or not, how full their lips are and so on. It is enough to give a general description. Unless you want to, of course. But if you feel you need to add all the data, I don't think that is a must.

If you want a suggestion for the next transformation, what about something wormlike?

5 (edited by finaro 2019-06-11 21:49)

Re: Story Excerpt I've put together

Rexin wrote:

My personal opinion is that there is no need to add all the details regarding their look. The exact size of their breasts, if they have a button nose or not, how full their lips are and so on. It is enough to give a general description. Unless you want to, of course. But if you feel you need to add all the data, I don't think that is a must.

If you want a suggestion for the next transformation, what about something wormlike?

Well I kinda thought giving their physical description is rather suitable for transformation stories because it simply describes how attractive they used to look like compared to what they're about to become although I really don't have to go in detail but mainly to describe their attractiveness and their beauty is enough to keep the reader aroused that is although I was asking here is some type of chart that you writers use to make describing their bodies better and more easier (like body shape, breast cup sizes, etc) since that's the hardest part for me as a writer though.

Well to be honest what I've just thrown together is more of a proof of concept not really a full story but yeah worms, jellyfish like creatures, octopus like creatures are exactly what I'm aiming for if you can say that.

6

Re: Story Excerpt I've put together

I see. I don't know about any charts like that, but maybe if you ask in another board? It is a pretty innocent question, and easy to come up with another reason for why you are looking for it, like visualizing characters in a video game or something else. If you ask about a chart that shows both females and males it also sounds less "suspicious".

7

Re: Story Excerpt I've put together

Rexin wrote:

I see. I don't know about any charts like that, but maybe if you ask in another board? It is a pretty innocent question, and easy to come up with another reason for why you are looking for it, like visualizing characters in a video game or something else. If you ask about a chart that shows both females and males it also sounds less "suspicious".

Well to simply put it, I think I was asking for if there's a way to describe female bodies in characters more easier in stories when I have a direct vision what they look like.

8

Re: Story Excerpt I've put together

My suggestion would still be to try and get more comfortable with vague descriptions, using the reader's imagination to your advantage.

For example, a description like "she was a voluptous beauty, young and with an amazing hour glass figure. Her large breasts were surprisingly firm and her butt well rounded". You see how no exact measurements are given but thanks to how similar most beauty standards are, most people will probably have a similar enough picture in mind.

9 (edited by finaro 2019-06-12 21:24)

Re: Story Excerpt I've put together

Demon-Man wrote:

My suggestion would still be to try and get more comfortable with vague descriptions, using the reader's imagination to your advantage.

For example, a description like "she was a voluptous beauty, young and with an amazing hour glass figure. Her large breasts were surprisingly firm and her butt well rounded". You see how no exact measurements are given but thanks to how similar most beauty standards are, most people will probably have a similar enough picture in mind.

Thank you, I've edited the excerpt above with your suggestion and it looks perfect now to be honest.

Of course now the part where the walks to the stage which is where I would describe her hair, her body silhouette that her dress outlines, and of course explaining who she is and why wants to get transformed which I believe are going to be hardest parts hence why I've started with the disrobing and transformation process first.