A little late, but I haven't posted in a while.  Wanted to bring back the tradition of holiday stories on the site.

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It’s not to late to turn around.  The thought repeated on a loop in Calvin’s mind as he drove past the stone gateway and down the winding track through the elaborate front gardens.  In the distance, he could see the hulking outline of a mansion in the distance.  His destination for the evening.

As he pulled his car against the garage on the side of the house, Calvin reflected that it had been almost two years since he had been back here.  Since the mansion’s owner had last ensnared him with another favor.  What had it been…oh yes.  The start-up partner who had stolen most of Calvin’s code to sell to a competitor.  Fiona dealt with the man before Calvin even found out he was betrayed, showing up to claim credit for an undiscovered problem.  She had always been like that, ever since they first met back in high school.

Closing the car door, Calvin strode off toward the mansion’s front doors.  There was no point in locking it.  Anyone who went through the effort to break into this place wasn’t going to steal his old piece of crap.  A lack of money was the whole reason Calvin was here.  Like her or hate her, it was an undeniable fact that Fiona had plenty of it.

The mistress of the house was waiting as Calvin trudged up the front steps.  Despite nearly a decade having passed since they both graduated high school, Fiona still appeared the head cheerleader she once was.  Thin, but with just the right quantity of curves.  Long blonde hair elegantly coifed in a style that probably cost more than Calvin’s monthly rent.  And wearing a long black evening dress that definitely did.  It made Calvin feel horrendously underdressed, even if Fiona hadn’t mentioned a dress code for this little get together.

“Calvin, so good to see you.”  Fiona’s voice was liquid honey as she took him by the chin and air kissed both sides of his face.  “It has been far too long.  What has been keeping you busy these past years?”

Calvin was certain Fiona already knew the answer to that question, but it was too early to be rude.  Not when he needed this favor.  “Getting a company off the ground is harder than I thought.  It sucks up all my free time.”

“You were always so good with your little code and little electronics.  Meanwhile, I can barely hook up a television that comes with instructions.”  Fiona let out a tinkling laugh.  “I don’t suppose you can help me out with that?  I wouldn’t be much of a host with malfunctioning entertainment.”

Calvin had two engineering master’s degrees.  He was more than qualified to plug in basic home electronics.  But such a request was just like Fiona, a subtle jab to denigrate a target’s strengths.  It wasn’t that Fiona wanted Calvin to do her homework; she would question if he was even capable of it.

Shaking away these thoughts, Calvin followed Fiona into the house.  The place reeked of old money, though with enough new money splashiness to reveal where Fiona made additions.  As they passed by a six-foot-tall portrait hanging in the foyer, Calvin asked, “Will your husband be joining us this evening?”

Fiona let out a dark chuckle.  “He will not, I’m afraid.  He will be unable to join us for any social events in future.”  A moment of awkward silence followed while Calvin tried to figure out how to pull his foot out of this misstep.  To his relief, Fiona continued, “He died early this year.  It was very sudden and very tragic.”

Calvin marveled at how good of an actress Fiona was.  She even mustered a single tear of sorrow.  While everyone may have been too polite and/or scared to say it, it was impossible for Fiona to be anything other than a gold digger.  That was the only reason some in her twenties married a man of unremarkable looks or personality nearly three times her age.  And for him to have died within two years of their union…Calvin wouldn’t put it past Fiona to have something to do with his untimely end.  But he wasn’t crazy enough to every articulate that thought.

Fiona left Calvin in the entertainment room as she flounced back to the entrance to greet the remain guests for the evening.  It took less than five minutes for Calvin to find the problem, utilizing skills possessed by an average ten-year-old.  Someone forgot to put batteries in the brand new remote.  Calvin liberated a pair from another remote gathering dust in the back of the entertainment hutch and the television blared to life with the evening news.  A pair of talking heads were warning people to be safe as they went about this evening.  It was Demon’s Eve, and even if the old threats had largely pulled back from modern society that didn’t mean they were gone completely.  Calvin watched the pair spout off about urban legends and wild tales like a woman turned into a birdbath in her front yard or the lovers who had been absorbed into trees in a local park.

After about ten minutes, Calvin heard voices coming down the corridor outside.  He rose and held the door open to admit entry to the rest of Fiona’s high school clique.  First there was Jacob, former football quarterback and Fiona’s boyfriend until she traded him in for a richer model.  Tearing out his knee in college rule out any professional sports hopes (or income) and now he worked as a personal trainer.  “I’m telling you man, most of the people I work with are complete fucking assholes.  I just can’t get no demons damned respect.”

Ricky, the target of Jacob’s whining, merely nodded along.  Smooth as a bar of chocolate, both physically and verbally, he had always been the one to talk the group into and out of trouble.  “I get it man, I get it.  I dislike some of my coworkers too.  That’s just part of life.”

“At least you get to hang out with sales girls dressed to the nines all day.  The only woman in my gym has bigger balls than I do after a trip to Jizza.”

“Hey, if all you’re looking for is some nice tits to hang with, I can introduce you to some of my gal pals.”  Suzie smirked as she pushed between the two men and wrapped an arm around each of their shoulders.  Fiona’s second in command from their cheerleading days had some work done since Calvin last saw her.  Her breasts had gone up at least a few cup sizes, which probably helped a great deal with her day job.  “In fact, my bosses would probably pay me a bonus if I could get either of you in front of the camera.”

‘I’m not a fucking hooker Suzie.” Jacob complained, trying and failing to push Suzie’s arm off.

“Neither am I.” Suzie shot back. “I’m an erotic entertainer.  I help people experience things they never get to normally.  Take nerd boy here.  When was the last time you saw a pair of tits as nice as these?”  Suzie lifted up her shirt in Calvin’s direction, revealing she wasn’t wearing a bra underneath.

“Since the last time you flashed me two years ago.”  Calvin tried to sound confident in his reply while extinguishing the flaming in his cheeks.  Suzie always loved teasing Calvin about his lack of love life and had even offered to take his V-card on occasion.  But Calvin was far too aware how many times Suzie had redeemed her own ticket and had no interest in riding the town bike.

“Guys, guys, it’s a party.”  Fiona claimed her position as the head of the clique, drawing the rest of the group’s attention.  “We’re here to celebrate Suzie winning her awards and Ricky’s latest big sale and Jacob’s new line of fitness videos and…”  Fiona gave Calvin a calculating look.  “I’m sure Calvin has something recent to celebrate too.”

Ouch.  Like Calvin wanted to celebrate being so far in debt he was willing to stomach hanging out with people he despised just to get bailed out.  Like he would be here if there was any other choice.

“I’ve got copies of all of Suzie’s latest videos.” Fiona continued.  “We can watch them while snacking on some treats I had the staff prepared before I dismissed them for the evening.  Calvin, if you’ll come along to help me carry everything…”

Before Fiona could move, the lights went out.  There were no windows in the entertainment room, which left the group in total darkness until Calvin pulled out his phone.

“What happened?”  Suzie asked.

“The lights when out, moron.” Jacob retorted.

“I can see that, but why?”

“You did remember to pay the electric bill?”  Calvin asked in Fiona’s direction.  He was pretty sure he knew the answer, but this was also the woman for forgot batteries for the remote.

“Of course I didn’t.  I have staff to handle petty things like that for me.”  Calvin couldn’t see Fiona’s expression in the gloom, but the level of annoyance was clear to his ears.  “If the power doesn’t come back in a minute the emergency generators should kick in.  My late husband’s paranoia will be finally be useful for something.”

As Fiona predicted, a minute later the lights in the room flickered before resuming normal brightness.  “Finally, we can get back to…” 
Fiona cut off; her eyes locked on an impossible sight.  Calvin stared too, equally dumbfounded.  Where there had once been five, there were now six.  A man in a silver suit that matched his neatly cut hair leaned against the wall, watching the group.  He wore sunglasses despite the late indoor hour and studied the group with an appraising glance.

“Who the fuck are you!” Jacob exclaimed, striding up to the intruder.

“My, you do have quite the foul mouth on you.” The stranger replied calmly.  “That matches the information in my file.  To answer your questions, I gave up the name I was born with a long time ago.  But you may refer to me as the Optimizer.”

“How did you get in here?” Fiona asked with evident anger.  “This is my house and I demand you leave.”

“This is Roland Hartfield’s house.” Her dead husband’s name on the intruder’s lips caused Fiona to flinch.  “And he invited me in.  Therefore, I have all the right in the world to be here.”

“But why are you here?”  the question slipped from Calvin’s lips before he could stop it.

The Optimizer’s eye seemed to glow behind his glasses as he perked up.  “Ah, finally.  An intelligent question.  One with a simple answer.”  The silver man…no, by now it was quite evident he was some kind of demon, turned to let his gaze fall on Fiona.  “You late husband had concerns about you.  He paid my master quite handsomely for an insurance policy.  If he became the subject of foul play, then you would receive a visit on the next Demon’s Eve.”

“I don’t care who you are or why you claim to be here.  If you don’t get out of my house right now, I’m calling the police.  You have no idea who you are messing with.”

“The same could be said of you, little girl.”  Optimizer lowered his sunglasses, revealing the inhuman eyes underneath.  The inhuman orbs had far too many irises, twisting and spinning like a maze gears.

“That’s it, asshole, time to go.”  Jacob got right up in Optimizer’s face.  “Are you going to leave quietly or do I have to throw out on your fucking ass?”

“I think that’s plenty out of you.”  Optimizer snapped his fingers at Jacob, who froze mid rant.  The demon walked over and tapped this near assailant on the forehead, eliciting no reaction.

“What did you do to him?” Fiona demanded.

“He’s fine.  Merely unable to move.  A position I will put the rest of you in, if you try to interfere.” 

Fiona looked like she wanted to object, but clamped her mouth shut out of fear of ending up like her ex-boyfriend.  Optimizer’s face twisted in a smirk as he turned back to his target.  “Quite my luck to find you here tonight.  Roland hated you enough to put out a sub-contract for your improvement.  Apparently, it leaves quite an impression on a man if you cheat with his wife.”

Apparently, Jacob and Fiona weren’t as broken up as Calvin assumed.  The look on the latter’s face was all the proof he needed that demon’s words were true.

“All the warning signs of toxic masculinity.  Hyper focus on fitness.  A superiority complex.  An inability to have a rational discussion without threatening violence.”  Optimizer sized up Jacob like a butcher preparing a cow for slaughter.  “Let me fix that, along with your foul mouth.  But first, why don’t we all get a little more comfortable.”

A snap of the demon’s fingers and the clothes of everyone else in the room burned with sudden, heatless fire.  The fabric was consumed so rapidly that Calvin was unable to fully remove his shirt before it evaporated into black smoke.  Face crimson, Calvin’s hands moved instinctively cover his privates, a reaction mimicked by Ricky and Fiona.  Suzie didn’t seem to notice, but Cavlin figured she was well past the point of getting embarrassed showing her body to others.  Jacob remained as still as a statue, but there was a faint wobble that said that he was even more displeased with this turn of events.

  “Right, back to work.”  Optimizer tapped Jacob on the forehead with his finger.  This caused a reaction akin to a candle threatened with a blowtorch.  Hair and pink skin melted away, Jacob’s entire body shrinking as his mass pooled around his feet in liquid form.  In less than a minute, Jacob had lost nearly two feet in height.  His skin was now a milky white material with a sheen that reminded Calvin of polished latex.  The head was a nearly spherical orb, save for the single cyclopean eye in the center.  If Jacob retained a mouth or nose, Calvin couldn’t see them.

“Not bad, not bad.”  Optimizer circled his prey, his expression shifted by the moment as he studied his handiwork.  Below the head, Jacob’s body was thin and genderless.  The barest hint of puffiness in the upper chest, a flat and empty expanse in the crotch.  The standout feature was Jacob’s ass, which had ballooned to exaggerated feminine proportions.  The transformed human wasn’t wider than he was tall, but it was a close measure.

“Speak.”  Optimizer ordered.

“Dicktoes fucknozzle.”  Calvin almost jumped at the words.  At first, he wasn’t sure where the high pitched, girlish voice was coming from, but as Jacob continued to curse like a sailor with a thesaurus, he realized the words were coming from between the transformee’s butt cheeks. “Asslicker cuntguzzler shitsniffing…”

“That’s enough.”  Optimizer’s command thankfully cut off the tirage of foul language.  “Hmm, I must have made a miscalculation somewhere.  You now seem incapable of anything other than foul language.  If you were a client, I would feel awful about this mistake.  But given why we are here; I consider this further just punishment.”  Optimizer turned back to the group.  “Now, who wants to go next?”
Calvin considered the question ludicrous.  Who would volunteer to be next to be turned into an inhuman freak?

“Ooh, me, me!”  Suzie was nearly bouncing on her feet, sending her prodigious assets wobbling wildly.

“As you wish.  Step forward.”

Suzie flounced over to stand before the demon.  “I want to be big.  And sexy.  And to get to fuck a lot.”

Optimizer lowered his glasses again, staring into Suzie’s beaming face.  “You really are a simple cow, aren’t you?  There is some evil in your past, but most of it was directed by your friend.  So, I’ll give you what you asked for.”

Suzie giggled as her body began to expand.  Her belly pressed outward like a pregnant woman.  It surpassed three months, six months, nine, in a matter of moments.  Above, her breasts inflated as well.  They thrust from her chest like a pair of torpedoes as a second rack swelled underneath.

The rest of Suzie’s body began to take on bovine overtones.  Her legs spread wide, growing thick with muscle as her feet hardened into hooves.  Between them, a mushroom shaped head pushed it’s way free from her womanhood, which sealed shut after a pair of testicles descended.  Suzie’s new dick and balls seemed to swell with every breath.  While the former stopped at the size of a two-liter soda bottle, the latter kept growing until they were the size of beach balls.  The extra mass between her legs forced Suzie into a bow-legged stance, leaning forward slightly to counterbalance the weigh hanging from her torso.

At this point black and white fur began to spread across Suzie’s body in a Holstien pattern.  It spread up her legs, leaving the front of her torso bare as it climbed up the back.  It then spread down her arms, reducing each hand to three thick fingers topped with a heavy black nail.  As the fur grew up Suzie’s neck and over her chin, the flesh expanded outward into a bovine muzzle.  Suzie’s blonde hair fell out as the fur spread to the final patch of exposed skin, leaving a head that was almost completely bovine except for the obscenely inflated lips.

“Much better.” The pride was evident in Optimizer’s words.  “How do you like your new body?”

Suzie shook her torso, causing her assets to jiggle wildly.  She cupped her top breasts with her hoof hands and let out a happy moo.

“At least I got the language correct this time.”  Optimizer turned back to the three untransformed humans.  “Who’s next?”

The trio shared uneasy looks.  Calvin was finding it hard to focus, engrossed in Suzie’s transformation.  Truth be told, he’d had a crush on her since they first met, but had never expressed it.  It was one sided and if Fiona found out, it would be one more thing she held over his head.  But watching Suzie fondle her gigantic tits was causing all the blood flow to rush to an awkward location.

“No takers?”  A glint of evil was back in Optimizer’s words.  It was apparently enough to spook Ricky, who bolted toward the door.  He only made it three steps before freezing like a shop manikin. 

“You’re moving the wrong way, come over here.”  Ricky followed Optimizer’s words with the gracefulness of a robot, coming to a stop before the demon.  “You are quite the piece of work.” The demon remarked as he studied Ricky.  “Your friend with the foul mouth talked a big game and occasionally beat a few people up.  But how many women have you taken advantage of over the years?  I can nearly see a dozen just at your current place of employment.  They would charitably describe you as full of hot air, which I can work with.”

As Ricky’s body began to inflate, his arms melted into his sides while his legs fused together.  What started as a human shaped cylinder swelled in the middle until it took on a football shape.  Bobbing in the air a few feet off the ground, Calvin could see the end closest to him form into an exaggerated pair of lips.  From the farting sound on the far end, he predicted the other end was some sort of asshole.

“Hmm, that’s the basic shape.”  Optimizer rubbed his chin.  “Now let’s make you finally good for something.”

At the demon’s words, pairs of breasts inflated down the bottom of Ricky’s body like a landing strip.  Instead of nipples, each one sported a pair of lips at the crown.  Between each quartet of breasts a tentacle sprouted forth, twisting and ticking the erogenous flesh around it.

“Not very useful now, but when you grow to full size in a year or so you’ll be able to carry a significant amount of cargo.  And seeing as you no longer need to eat or sleep, you’re the ultimate freight vessel.  A product even a slimy salesman like you could find buyers for.” 

Optimizer tapped Ricky, which sent the zeppelin shaped transformee slowly drifting away across the room.  Anticipating the demon’s question, Calvin said, “I assume I’m next so you can save Fiona for last?”

Optimizer grinned.  “Actually, I’m saving you for last.  Mrs. Hartfield, it’s time you finally felt the vengeance earned from a lifetime of shady deeds.”
Calvin had to say this for Fiona.  She didn’t break even at the end.  “Do you worst, demon.”

“I am a man who takes pride in my work.  I never do my worst.  Your husband called you a total bitch, he even provided some ideas for your transformation. 
Who am I to reject a man’s final request?”

A snap of the demon’s fingers caused Fiona to fall forward on her hands and knees.  She let out a moan as four rows of breasts swelled from her horizontal torso, pressing aside limbs that were growing more canine by the second.  The moaning cut off as Fiona’s head sucked back inside her shoulders, leaving a gaping vagina behind.  The final design reminded Calvin of a Golden Shepherd, with light brown furred limbs and back.  The eight watermelon sized breasts and fluttering vagina between the creature’s shoulders ruined the comparison somewhat.  As Fiona spun in a circle, Calvin saw her ass had grow huge as well, with a puckered sphincter winking in the middle.  A serpentine tongue slithered out, twisting between Fiona’s legs to lick at her rearmost pair of breasts.

“Quite the improvement, don’t you think?”  Optimizer asked.  “Now she’ll never be able to spill secrets or blackmail anyone again.”

Calvin gulped, dreading what was about to happen.  “I don’t suppose there’s any way you can let me go?  If you read my mind, you can see I didn’t want to be here.”

“I already did, which is why I left you for last.  Unfortunately, Rolands final wishes were explicit.  Everyone with Fiona on this Demon’s Eve had to be transformed.  But he didn’t say they all had to be detrimental.  I think you will find this form favorable for your future endeavors.”

Optimizer snapped his fingers and a moment later, heat rushed through Calvin’s body.  He could feel himself growing, changing, twisting into something inhuman.  The sensation was so overwhelming that he closed his eyes and tried to ride out the tsunami wracking his body.

Time lost meaning, but eventually the sensation ceased.  Calvin’s entire body felt wrong, in so many ways he couldn’t describe.  When he opened his eyes to see what Optimizer had done to him, Calvin found his vision coming from more than one pair of eyes.

As he studied his new body, Calvin could see that Optimizer drew inspiration from two main sources.  This body was shaped like a dragon or wyvern, with a powerful legs and wings.  Then there were the hydra aspects.  While only a single reptilian head rose from Calvin’s shoulders, two more heads on long, serpentine necks had replaced each arm.  At the far end of the body, the tail split into four separate heads as well.  Two powerful yet proportional breasts hung from the chest, while a bulging sheathe throbbed between Calvin’s thighs.  That made the question of gender complicated, especially when one of the tail heads confirmed that Calvin’s asshole was leaking more lubrication than a standard orifice would.

“You’ll find all of your heads share a common pool of memories.”  Optimizer explained, drawing several of Calvin’s gazes to the demon.  “Over time they will develop individual personality quirks, but they are all still you.  You will need to eat significantly more to support a body of your size, and have frequent sex to relieve your enhanced libido, but your ability to multitask is unparalleled.”

“How…can I do…anything?”  Calvin rasped, his voice alternating between the heads.  “I don’t…have any…hands.”

“You’ll find that each head has three tongues of different lengths.  They are quite prehensile and stronger than expected for their size.”

As a test, Calvin used the two heads from what had been his left arm to right an armchair that had been knocked over in the earlier darkness.  To his surprise, it was as light as lifting a bag of groceries once he got two tongues wrapped around it.

“My work here is done.  I must be off.  Plenty of people to see and transform.  Another night in the life of a working demon.”

“Do you…have to…go?”  Calvin’s words caught Optimizer off guard nearly as much as Calvin.  His many minds were a swirl of emotions right now, but the one certainty was that he suddenly didn’t want Optimizer to leave.  “Fiona prepared snacks…and porn…before your arrival.  It would be…a shame…a real shame…to waste it.”

Calvin could feel Optimizer scrutinizing him behind the demon’s glasses.  “Is that all you want?”

Screw it.  “I want you…to show me…just how pleasurable…this body can be.”

“A bonus service, paid for in snacks.”  Optimizer rubbed his chin.  “For a first-time customer, I think I can be persuaded to offer a discount.  You are right, it was rude of me not to demonstrate all of the exciting features of your new body.  Why don’t we find a bedroom in this gaudy estate and I can rectify that….”

Epilogue-One year later

Hydri sat in their workspace, completing some final business as the sun set out the window.  The last year had been trying for several reasons.  Paperwork to prove their new identity along with the other new transformees.  Inheritance paperwork, estate management, and trying to keep their business afloat was difficult enough without having to do it by consensus.  It had taken three months for all of the heads to settle on Hydri as the name for their shared body, but gender was still an open question.  Three of the heads expressed as male, three female, two non-binary, and one transgender.  The rest of the heads were pretty sure you had to pick a gender to then become transgender, but #8 had developed more than one odd quirk as heads grew different personalities.

At least Optimizer hadn’t over promised on their ability to multitask.  #2 and #3 were peer coding, while #4 took a break reading manga and #5 slept.  Numbers 6, 7, and 8 were snuggled in meeting cubbies to Hydri’s rear, meeting with customers while #9 juggled the A/V and slides. 

That left #1, who usually took on the supervisory role for the other heads, free for the day after she finished her last email.  Destination documentation for Transfloater’s next stop.  Optimizer was true to his word, and the living zeppelin had grown to the size of a football field over the last year.  It’s lifting capability wasn’t the best, but #1 had secured emergency response and remote outpost sustainment contracts from several municipalities.

Email sent, #1 turned to check on the screen dedicated to Milkfont’s stream.  The hucow was trussed up in the basement, suction hoses draining her dry nearly as fast as the firehoses in her mouth and ass could replenish fluids.  The stream already had enough tokens for two additional days of milking, meaning that Milkfont would spend at least a week in lust-filled bondage haze.  Her record was two weeks, buoyed by the promise she would get her arms transformed into additional breasts if her supporters chipped in enough coins.  No such promise was made for this session, but it was only a matter of time before the ditzy cow tried something equally extreme.

There was a knock on Hydri’s office door, which opened a moment later.  A large covered trolley entered, pushed by Filthy.  The diminutive transformee barely managed to avoid the large basket in the corner of the room, on which Fifi napped in a fading sunbeam like an oversized and oversexed cat.  Filthy angled the trolley beside Hydri’s desk and engaged the foot break.  “Dicknuts raperunner mangesniffer testiclesqulcher.”

#1 ran the swearing through her mental Filthy filter and got “Dinner, Mistress.”
“Thank you Filthy.  I’ll eat it in a few minutes when my meetings wrap up.” #1 noticed the pleading in Filthy’s single huge eye.  “Can I do something for you?”

Filthy’s gaze dropped to the tip of Hydri’s dick, which had snaked its way out from their sheathe.  Optimizer’s warning about their enhanced libido had come true; even after thoroughly screwing Fifi during lunch, their body was still horny and ready to go.   #1 wasn’t sure if this was the result of #5’s erotic dreams or if #4 was reading hentai again.  Either way, she had time to solve the problem before dinner.  That would allow them plenty of recharge time for  events later that evening.

“Only if you’re quiet.”  #1 told Filthy.  “We have some heads still in meetings.”

With a squeal, Filthy dove under the desk.  The transformee aligned her rear with the tip of Hydri’s dick, spreading the cheeks to reveal the salivating mouth within.  The touch of her rear against the tip of Hydri’s dick was enough to get the member to swell fully to life.  As Filthy pressed their rear against it, the diminutive transformee began to moan at an unacceptable volume.  #1 leaned forward, snaking her tongues under the table to wrap around Filthy’s torso.  She slammed Filthy balls deep, silencing the transformee like a dildo gag.  It wasn’t like Filthy was going to suffocate, subsisting on mana and all, so #1 felt no guilt about leaving Filthy in that state for a long minute before stroking the transformee up and down on their member like a living cocksleeve.  It didn’t take long until their arousal reached the crescendo and Filthy’s slim body bulged from the sheer volume of cum pumped in my Hydri’s huge balls.  From past experience, she would be useless for hours after this, lost in an orgasmic haze.

As she savored the afterglow, #1’s thoughts drifted to their plans for later that night.  Optimizer had been busy the last month, but had promised to stop by when he finished his nightly work.  #1 wondered who was getting an unexpected guest tonight, much like Optimizer had intruded into their life the year before.  It didn’t matter; all that did was Optimizer bringing his appetite.  Filthy had baked plenty of snacks and they had all night to enjoy them together.