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Topic: It Came From Space #3 - outline

A while back, I wrote two interactive stories based around a body-manipulating space rock. It's a bizarre premise and perhaps an even stranger set of stories, but I quite liked it—if only for the opportunity to explore both generational changes and rapid stuff.

The paths:
http://www.cyoc.net/interactives/chapter_97398.html
http://www.cyoc.net/interactives/chapter_97399.html

Heck... Amy and Jess were actually the inspiration for fortesting-chan

Now, rather than turning either of these into a stand-alone pdf as I've been doing with my other cyoc stuff, I've decided to use the premise for a new one. Still a pdf, mind you, but unique in that I've not written this anywhere before.


Anyway... Here's my rough outline:

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It Came From Space (#3) -  Outline


Prologue
An advanced alien race sends ‘messengers’ into the cosmos. The targets are star systems that may develop life by the time they arrive. These messengers are organic devices programed to share information with intelligent (carbon-based) life. One of these messengers crash-lands on earth, fracturing it into several pieces.


Part 1
Sarah is one of the people who witness the event. While standing near the wreckage, she spots something shiny. Turns out, it’s a piece of the alien device; though she mistakes it for an unusual looking rock. She slips it into her pocket.

Back home, she places the strange rock on a shelf and sits down with Blake, her boyfriend. She asks if he thinks they’re alone in the universe. He jokes about being right there with her. After a short conversation, Blake heads to bed early (due to his job). Sarah flips on the TV and learns that the incident had been severely skewed by the news. Almost as though they were trying to covering it up.


Part 2
Government officials are busy transporting the rock to a nearby facility.  Jesse, a member of the recovery crew, accidentally makes direct contact with a fragment of the unusual meteorite, but doesn’t mention it to her superiors.


Part 3
Blake wakes early and leaves for work. The sound of his alarm wakes Sarah, but she falls back to sleep shortly after. A few hours later, her own alarm sounds. She begrudgingly gets out of bed and prepares for work. During a trip to the bathroom, she discovers an itchy spot in her cleavage. It seems benign and she assumes it’s just an inconvenient bug bite.

Things at work seem ordinary until her lunch break. During the break, she day-dreams about her boyfriend. Feeling mildly aroused, she casually reaches up to scratch the bite. It’s grown significantly and feels pleasant to touch. In a mild panic, she heads to the bathroom to check it out. It’s clearly a breast; something she won’t be able to hide if the swelling doesn’t stop soon. She convinces her boss that she’s feeling ill and leaves early.

Her body continues to change and the breast seems to grow faster as her libido spikes. Once home, she strips and begins to masterbate; too horny to care that she's not got three big sensitive boobs hanging from her chest. Following the session, she notices an unusual glow emanating from the shard from the crash site. Somehow, she knows it’s the reason her body changed.


Part 4
Back at the government facility, the alien device has been isolated. Something deemed necessary after a number of people experienced unusual physical changes. So far as they could tell, it was only affecting people who had made direct contact. Those workers were quarantined and the CDC was struggling to find the cause. They also needed to decide whether or not to declare a public state of emergency.

So far, there were been no reported civilian changes and the internal incidents hadn’t been life-threatening. In fact, some might claim that they were life-enhancing in the literal sense. The changes always involve reproductive organs and seemed to come with bouts of unexpected arousal. Jesse’s body was affected, but she managed to keep her change hidden to avoid being quarantined. She would rather seek answers than be confined to the facility.


Part 5
Sarah paces around the living room, trying to figure out how she’ll explain her new boob to Blake. The shard seems to pulse in response to her movements. She leans in to take a closer look and asks, “what are you…”

After a few rapid pulses, it echoes her words. She’s amazed that it can speak and tries to ask it questions. The shard spends some time repeating her words, but soon synthesizes enough of her speech to answer the first question. While she processes the information, Blake’s keys rattle just outside the door. Still naked, she snatches up the shard and runs into the bedroom just before the door opens

Blake comes in, surprised to see his girlfriend’s clothes on the floor. “Sarah?… You here?”

She replies, explaining that she came home early after claiming to be ill. He asks if she actually was ill from outside the door. She tells him no, but insists that he stay out. After some hesitation, she explains what happened. “You expect me to believe all that?” he asks as he pushes open the door.


Part 6
Instead of heading home, Jesse went back to the crash site. She wanted answers and knew that her superiors didn’t know anymore than she did. Perhaps there was a clue back where the alien device landed.


Part 7
Blake finds Sarah wrapped in a blanket on their bed. After some hesitation, she proves her words by showing the extra breast. Blake has no choice but to believe her story and picks up the shard before she can stop him.

He’s already quite turned on by the sight of her three breast and soon feels an itching his groin. His penis splits in two. The change is more rapid than Sarah’s. Most likely due to his already rising libido. He loves the new addition, but Sarah doesn’t share his enthusiasm, at least not until her own arousal begins to spike. Fun times ensue, but they eventually calm down enough to plan their next move. The shard claims that it can’t fix them unless it’s own body is restored.


Part 8
Sarah and Blake head back to the crash site, hoping for answers, but find that it’s been fenced off. They watch as some girl with a keycard enters the closed off area. She seems almost as disappointed as they are. The meteorite had been removed. Even the debris stirred up by the crash had been bagged up and hauled away. Sarah asked the shard in her pocket what they should do, but it offered no answer. They watched as the worker concluded her search and started back towards the gate. She seemed rushed.

Jesse’s detour was ultimately fruitless. Her team had taken everything they could find. Maybe she could sneak into the facility later that night to take a closer look at the pieces they recovered. As she sifted through the remains, her new addition squirmed in her pants. It was making her horny, so she decided to leave for home. On the way toward the gate, she spotted a couple standing just beyond the fence. They seemed distraught as she made her approach. Her intent was to tell them they needed to leave the area, but she never made it that far.

Sarah and Blake watch the girl slipped out of the enclosure, and start towards them. Given the look on her face, they guessed she would soon tell them to leave. But, before she was close enough to tell them off, she dropped to the ground, struggling with some snake-like thing jutting from her pants. They glanced at each other, as if to verify that they were both thinking the same thing. This girl had touched the messenger. And, if she had touched it, she would know where to find it.


Part 9
The girl continued to fondle herself until the snake-like-cock blasted out a surprising amount of cum. When finished, it was swallowed back into of her vagina. Following that, Sarah and Blake asked if she knew what happened to the rest of the meteorite. In a mild daze, she insists that it's classified, but decides to tell them when they show her the shard they found.

The shard joins the conversation; explaining that, without the communication module, the larger fragments may continue to change people in an attempt to communicate. If they bring the parts back together, it can repair itself and also fix them.

Given that, the three become determined to bring the pieces back together. Jesse insists that they give her the shard. Sarah refuses. She won’t give up the only thing that can fix her body. Blake won’t let her go without him, though he doesn’t mind keeping his extra dick. Jesse concedes and comes up with a plan to get the three of them into the facility.


Part 10
They stop at a fast food place to eat and plan their next move. Each of them offers up a proposal, but they ultimately go with Jesse’s idea to sneak in after nightfall. She keeps telling them that she should just go alone, but neither of them will have it. Without much choice Jesse explains that they’ll need disguises.

They stop by a nearby store to find some convincing lab coats, then head back to Sarah and Blake’s house to prepare. With some time to kill, they find themselves caught up in an unusual orgy. yay fan service.

The sun sets, they clean up and set off for the facility.


Part 11
Using the cover of darkness, they sneak past the security personnel out front. Jesse’s key card gets them through most of the locked doors. When her clearance level fails to get them any further, they must take a de-tour through the quarantined area. There, they see a number of modified people who have been forced to stay for an undetermined amount of time. Some are far less fortunate then they were. (insert interesting descriptions of changes)

Using the detour, Jesse leads them into the holding area and opens the door by shorting out the panel. The communication module glows as they approach the rest of the device. The recovered parts had already fused back together. The only thing left was the piece in Sarah’s pocket. Each chunk of the device was attract to the other, sending the larger portion toppling to the floor while Sarah’s piece was ripped from her pocket.


Part 12
The parts fuzed together and the device begins to hover and pulse. With it’s restored communication module and added knowledge of it’s three saviors, the messenger was able to show thanks by reversing the strange changes. While they lost their extra parts, it continues to read their genetic code, rapidly learning every facet of their composition. It came up with ways to improve them — ways that weren’t specifically to benefit their ability to reproduce.


Epilogue?
All disease, errors and weaknesses, rapidly scanned and corrected, but this was only the beginning. The device was restored, able to travel and share it’s knowledge with the local lifeforms. When it was finished fixing humanity, it would set off towards a new destination.

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Each of these parts will likely stretch into several pages, but this is my general idea.

Feedback is welcome. smile

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Re: It Came From Space #3 - outline

I like the setting and the overall story, but the transformations seem very tame.

3 (edited by fortestingpurposes 2016-07-30 14:21)

Re: It Came From Space #3 - outline

nikita wrote:

I like the setting and the overall story, but the transformations seem very tame.

Thanks. I do enjoy more subtle concepts but, to be perfectly honest, those transformations are just placeholders. Plus, I'll likely add more changes each time the story goes into 'fan service' mode.

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Re: It Came From Space #3 - outline

fortestingpurposes wrote:
nikita wrote:

I like the setting and the overall story, but the transformations seem very tame.

Thanks. I do enjoy more subtle concepts but, to be perfectly honest, those transformations are just placeholders. Plus, I'll likely add more changes each time the story goes into 'fan service' mode.

THAT sounds interesting!

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Re: It Came From Space #3 - outline

To be fair, we just had a conversation within the last month about how intense  the level of transformations were getting here on the forum.  I think a story with light transformation would be a welcome icebreaker for new members of the forum before they dive into the heavy stuff.

On the other hand, as this is an alien artifact you could try and work those kind of changes in.  Use some of the classical alien tropes as inspiration.  As Jesse already has a vagina snake, have her take on more reptilian changes (i.e. lizard people from outer space).  You could spoof the big headed grey/green aliens by hugely inflating the size of Blake's other head (his dick) and giving it the respective color. 

Whatever way you decide to go, I look forward to seeing the final result.  Shoot me a PM if you want more ideas/proofing.

6 (edited by fortestingpurposes 2016-07-30 20:33)

Re: It Came From Space #3 - outline

Redstar00 wrote:

...we just had a conversation within the last month about how intense  the level of transformations were getting...

I missed out on that, but can appreciate the sentiment.

I think I pretty well summed up my thoughts when I wrote this:

Less is more
Pay attention to previous chapters and try not to do too much in one setting.

“You suddenly grow four more breasts and absorb people you see, also there’s a tail and fur on your hands, plus there’s an extra eyeball on your forehead and your dick grows twelve feet long. You’re also really horny and have sex with the first person you see.”

This is stupid.

“You suddenly grow four more breasts and feel intense arousal.”

That is better, and more than enough to start an adventure. Save the twelve foot dick for chapter two.

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Redstar00 wrote:

... have her take on more reptilian changes ... inflating the size of Blake's other head ... giving it the respective color

I'm afraid you won't see any fur or scales in my writing. I'd even hesitate to mess with coloration for similar reasons. I've got nothing against it, I just have no personal interest -- which makes it kind of hard to write about. Still a very reasonable consideration given the way the story starts.

Redstar00 wrote:

...I look forward to seeing the final result.  Shoot me a PM if you want more ideas/proofing.

It'll be quite a while before I have something to share, but I may take you up on that offer. Thanks. smile

7 (edited by fortestingpurposes 2016-08-10 23:16)

Re: It Came From Space #3 - outline

Thought I'd pop in with an update...

This is shaping up to be a bit heavy on the story and light on transformations/fan-service. I wonder what that says about my current place in life? O.o

Well, whatever the case, I'm embracing it as a softer version of my usual fiction.

I've got a prologue and two chapters so far, and thought I'd share the former to give you all an idea of what it's shaping into:

Outline (from that first post):

An advanced alien race sends ‘messengers’ into the cosmos. The targets are star systems that may develop life by the time they arrive. These messengers are organic devices programmed to share information with intelligent (carbon-based) life. One of these messengers crash-lands on earth, fracturing it into several pieces.

↑ That has turned into this ↓

Prologue (v1)
Floating alone in a great expanse of stars and dust was a small planet with realized potential. In its most fertile years, it hosted an advanced civilization. They were carbon based and highly adaptable; improving through curiosity and technology. In time, they developed a vast library of knowledge. Knowledge that focused primarily on genetic manipulation. In this pursuit, they rapidly accelerated the very evolution that brought them that far. But, like all great civilizations, theirs would come to an end. The star that had sustained them for millions of years would soon die.

Knowing the end was near, they abandoned their home to seek a new world in the cosmos. Along with self-sustaining arks, they launched messengers. Each was a complex organic computer made to adapt to, and improve, whatever lifeforms they encountered.
They were aimed them toward star clusters and nebula with the potential to form life-supporting worlds by the time they arrived. Some would be traveling for thousands of years, likely outliving their creators. It was a literal shot in the dark, but one they felt was well worth the effort.

When one of these messengers was within 90 light years of its destination, it began to detect unique radio static. Whether or not it found life, this was the end of the road. The tiny payload was caught in the nearest stars gravity, destined to burn up if it didn’t change course. As the messenger drifted closer its demise, the feint signals became more clear. The waves originated from a planet in a stable orbit, roughly 8 light minutes from the central star.

While it wasn’t a guarantee of intelligence, this might be the only chance to share its creators knowledge. Long dormant propulsion systems woke and began to adjust the trajectory, putting the planet directly in its path.

Far below, kids were running through fountains while teens loitered around public art installations. A number of others were lining up at food trucks, adding to the crowd of people just leaving work. All in all, a typical Thursday evening at the downtown plaza.
Without warning, a loud bang echoed down the street, followed by the sound of falling debris and car alarms. Nobody was close enough to be injured but the racket startled a number of people. Many ran while a smaller group cautiously ventured toward the sound.

A young woman named Sarah had just left work and made a short detour to find a birthday gift for her nephew. Rather than run from the sound, she decided to join those who went to investigate. They were greeted by a pile of debris under a wrecked shop awning. As luck would have it, the building was unoccupied. At least, she guessed as much from the sale sign out front. There were whispers that it might have been an attack, but nestled in the debris was a decidedly inert looking rock. Perhaps a meteorite?

Sarah maneuvered through the crowd to get a closer look. The rock had a vague egg shape but had fractured into a number of pieces and steamed with residual heat. A glint of light caught the corner of her eye. A palm sized fragment was lying next to her foot. It was perfect. What better gift for her nephew than a meteor fragment? She casually slipped it into her pocket. Something really stupid, in retrospect. Fortunately for her, it had cooled enough to be handled.

With the piece secured, she backed out of the crowd. Security officers were already moving in to control the situation. That, along with the growing sound of sirens, seemed like a good reason to leave.

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The next chapter introduces Jesse, Ben and Henry, a hazmat crew sent to clean up the mess after the military gets involved. We don't see Sarah again until chapter 3 ... but I'll save all of that for a later post. smile

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Re: It Came From Space #3 - outline

Love it, makes me wish I had the time to get good at writing short stories.

To everyone else, here's the link to the relevant illustrations:

http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php? … d=58604565

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Re: It Came From Space #3 - outline

Flicker wrote:

To everyone else, here's the link to the relevant illustrations:
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php? … d=58604565

Glad you liked it

Just and FYI though, those are illustrations for this story: http://www.cyoc.net/interactives/chapte … /full.html

The one I'm working on now takes place after a very similar incident but doesn't follow the same characters.