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Implications of what happened to him notwithstanding, Nick embraces it with gusto.

"Holy fuck..." The murmur is barely audible as Nick sits up after a while, ripping off the last shreds of his clothes. "This... this..."

"Nick, man, listen, we can figure somethi--"

"Fuck yes!" With an almost manic grin, eyes wide open, Nick jumps up and pulls the fat orbs of his breasts apart to look down at himself, face disappearing behind his curly tresses. "I... I look hot! For the first time in my life, I think I'm hot! My brain finally shut up! My dysmorphia... gone!"

I can't help but smile as Nick does a dorky little victory dance that makes his oversized schlong flop around and his boobage bounce. Somehow, as posthuman as he looks, with barely a trace of old Nick in his appearance, he has barely changed inside. Still the same old--

"Whoa, whoa, hey!" Scratch that, he's a lot more touchy-feely now. Not caring that Joy and I are half- and he ist stark naked, Nick has made his way over to us, pulling us from our chair effortlessly and between his soft, mountainous breasts in a crushing hug. "I love you too, man, but whoa!"

"Aww~!" Joy has none of my reservations, hugging Nick's neck as I flail ineffectually. "I'm happy you're happy, Nick!"

"Thanks! Hey, I think I'll go by Nikki now, how about it?" Setting us down again, Nikki twists and turns to look at her smooth skin that barely hides her muscles under a layer of fat. "And considering my looks, they/them feels a lot better than he/him. Wow, I should have done that years ago! That... I... I..."

And with the biggest smile I've ever seen on their face, Nikki begins to cry, overwhelmed by feeling good in their skin for the first time ever, and this time, Joy and I hug them to the best of our ability.

Half an hour later, Nikki has cried themself out and is trying to improvise some clothes, the mess we left is cleaned up, and Joy and I start ordering some food. Not sure how healthy it is to keep ordering takeout, but screw it. My buddy is finally not being bullied by their own brain anymore, we need to celebrate that! Although all my thoughts screech to a halt as Nikki returns from their bedroom - they have taken a bedsheet, twisted it in the middle and used it as a makeshift bra that's tied together in the back, producing cleavage we could stuff our heads into with ease, and a second sheet forms a sort-of dress, with Nikki's oversized schlong making a distinct bulge at the front that moves side to side with every step.

"Buh..." I begin, and Joy picks up the eloquent comment: "Guh."

"I guess you like what you see," Nikki grins, striking a pose straight out of a pinup picture, clearly having fun with their body and its effects. "Look all you want, but as soon as you've winched your jaws back up, let's order that food. I'm starving!"

"Uh... yeah, sorry..." No idea why they're having such an effect on us. Is the magic still messing with our minds? Or am I bi _and _into cute red-heads like Joy as much as I am into towering, muscle-bound dommy mommy's like Nikki? Since this whole mess started, it's just revelation after revelation. "Here, we already put in our stuff. You go ahead and order yours."

"Thanks!" Nikki takes the offered phone - and takes a distressingly long time to order, putting in more and more stuff. "Okay, done. I'm gonna send you the money - it's my treat tonight, I wanna celebrate! I..."

Sitting down on the second chair, their face becomes serious.

"Listen, guys, I... I'm glad I get to share this with you. The circumstances were... uncontrolled and more than a little perverted..." All three of us blush at the memory of us masturbating together, but Nikki recovers rather quickly. "And I know things are going to get weird for me from here on out. I'm... a lot more in-your-face, I might just be the tallest human in the world now, and my... assets aren't exactly modest, but as much as I look like a circus freak, I don't feel like one. I'm... I'm gonna be fine, and I have you guys. I'm so happy we're friends."

"Me too, Nikki." Joy leans forwards to lightly touch our towering friend's muscular arm, the easy smile they exchange making me grin myself. "But do me a favor and never call yourself a circus freak again, okay? You're gorgeous, just a bit..."

"Unconventional," I supply, and Nikki guffaws. It's the same short laugh they've laughed when I made dumb jokes in the past, and it puts me at ease more than anything. I was a bit worried that the potion magic messed with their mind on top of everything else - which is a crazy thought to have, but ever since the three of us have come into contact with magic, crazy has become normal.

"That's certainly a way to put it!" Leaning back, Nikki makes their chair creak; not that surprising, seeing as their weight has likely doubled or tripled. "God, this world isn't made for people like me. I'm gonna have to shop at Livin' Large from now on!"

"Or make your own clothes," Joy shrugs, tapping on my phone to check how much longer the order is going to take. Judging by her slumping shoulders, it's rather longer than she'd like. "Maybe we can try that together, it might be fun! Also... I kinda like not being the only girl - or girl-adjacent person - that's been created by magic. Everyone wants to be special, but being special? Not as fun as you'd think!"

"Tell me about it..." Nikki and I grouse simultaneously, snorting at our shared sentiment. We might like our new circumstances, but we can also recognize the downsides. "But, hey, what were you guys even doing all day? I mean, I saw you and everything. What was up with that necklace?"

"Oh, we got that from... oh." Raising her hand to her neck, Joy realizes we forgot the necklace in my room, but shrugs it off. Not like we need it here. "Got it from a honest to god magic shop. It can follow traces of magic somehow, like, we swing it and it reacts."

"Yeah, we used it in my room and it pointed to my bed, 'cause..."

"Oh, I do believe the two of you did some magic there!" Nikki chuckles with a lewd grin on their changed face. And somehow, that grin is exactly like the one that I know from them. It's uncanny, really. "Soo, you're trying to find the wizard, witch, wiccan or whatever that cast the spell on you?"

"Yeah. Although I do have a suspicion." Crossing her arms, Joy leans back into me, and I put my arms over her stomach as we cuddle, the sight making Nikki smirk good-naturedly. "I don't want to stereotype, buuuut... that Ellie girl looks the part, and she almost kicked down Matt's door. What if she knows that her spell went wrong and, I dunno?"

"Well, that breakup was nasty! Man, I still feel sorry for you, Mattster." The slightly pleading look I give them doesn't deter Nikki in the least. I'd rather not talk about this, but they are right. So I let them continue, no matter how much my heart pounds or how I break out in cold sweat. "I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to teach you a lesson and fucked it up somehow."

"It's plausible..." Sensing my discomfort, Joy pets my hand lightly, turning her head to peck me on the jaw. "But we should still use the amulet tomorrow. I don't wanna waltz up to a person that gives Matt a panic attack just thinking about her and then be wrong, you know?"

"Totally. We're just spitballing, and look at the poor guy." From anyone else, I would not take such a pitying look lying down. From my best bud, now turned into a smoking hottie? I don't like it, but I also don't feel the urge to snap at them. "Different topic. Do you think I'll fit through the door?"

That came out of left field with a goddamn haymaker. Joy and I dissolve into laughter, and Nikki grins as she crosses her arms under her giant bust, clearly proud of herself for breaking the awkward feeling that had settled over us. The rest of the evening is then spent with topics much more fitting for college students, like books, games, and movies. And of course the mountains of food Nikki bought. It's so late at night that it's almost early in the morning when Joy and I finally get home.

Come morning (or maybe noon, seeing as we need SOME sleep), we'll go on the hunt again.

Yet another surprise.

We've eaten our sandwiches and Joy is reading through the leaflet that came with our Plan B so she can take the little pills, when my phone buzzes with a call via the social app Nick and me normally use for gaming. And what do you know, it is Nick calling me. Almost 10 minutes early. Nick is, if anything, habitually late a few minutes, so I get kinda nervous before I even tap to accept the call.

"Hey Nick, what's u--"

"Guys, I-I-I... I think I screwed up." I freeze, my finger still hovering just over my phone. I thought my best bud sounded shaken in front of the pharmacy... now he sounds like he's falling to pieces. "I went... went and got... drank it, and-and now... dunno what I was thinking!"

"Oh shit." Joy sounds just as shocked as I feel - and my fingers feel numb as my heart starts racing. Suffice to say, I'm pretty shocked. "Nick, you're in your room, yeah?"

"I... I... yes, I'm..."

"You stay right there, we're on our way."

Grabbing my phone without cutting the connection, I jump up and speedwalk to the door, and once we're out, I start running. And despite wearing one of her new bras, Joy still has to hold on to her breasts to keep them from bouncing all over the place as I barrel through the hallway and down the stairs. Why does Nick have to live in another dorm?! I feel everything Joy feels, of course, and as it turns out, big tits and racing along at full tilt don't mix. That weight jiggling around hurts! We soon reach the front doors, and as Joy pushes them open, I realize we forgot to put on our straps. No matter now, we need to get to Nick's room in the neighboring dorm. It's not that far. I dunno what he took, but he definitely needs our help!

As it's early evening, we run into - or rather past - quite a few other students, and I can't fight down a niggling worry in the back of my head, about them seeing the two of us with no extra layer of deception, but we've already reached Nick's dorm, and I get to catch my breath a little as Joy pushes open another set of doors. I go running regularly, so I'm pretty fit, but with Joy, I'm probably half again as heavy as a few days ago. It's not exactly helping things any as I set off again, breathing hard and legs burning.

"Nick?! Nick!" Slapping the door I carried her in front of, Joy makes use of the fact that I am panting and sweating while she is good as new. More or less. Except the slight ache in her boobage due to excessive bouncing. Sportsbra when? "It's us, open the door!"

There is shuffling and strange sounds between the noise of Joy's palms hitting the door, until finally, Nick cracks the door open and ushers us inside. And I can tell immediately that something is wrong. Or at least weird. Which would be wrong in and of itself. In any case, Nick is flushed, hunching over, holding his midsection with both arms, as if he upset his stomach.

"Okay, what did you do, man?!" I sound harsher than intended, worry about my best bud making the question sound like a bark. "Sorry, that sounded... No, what happened, Nick?"

"Do we call someone?" Joy interjects, but Nick holds up a hand to stop us, and points to something lying on his dinner table. Which, for all intents and purposes... looks like a potion bottle. Joy's next words are full of disbelief. "You... you didn't."

"I... fuck, I did." Nick stumbles over to a chair, panting and sweating... and with an undeniable bulge in his pants. "Listen, I... 's'long as I remember, I had body dysmorphia. Like, I knew I wasn't looking too bad, b-but my brain was al-always like 'You ugly fuck'! When I learned that magic was real..."

"You went to a witch or whatever and got yourself a potion." I pinch the bridge of my nose and squeeze my eyes shut.

"Yeah..." At least Nick knows he screwed up, giving us a rueful smile as he looks at us from dilated eyes. "Asked around on campus, found a coven of wiccans, they sold me something to fix me. Saw you two wandering about, t--"

"You're a dumbass, Nick. You think some students in their early 20s know what they're doing?" I shake my head at him as Joy worries at her lower lip. "We got ourselves checked by a professional today. Whoever did our spell screwed up royally, so..."

"Fuck, you think I d-doooh god!" The bulge in Nick's pants visibly throbs, and I feel Joy react - and myself as well. My heart begins beating faster, as does Joy's, her nipples begin to tighten, our pussy grows moist. Swallowing hard, I think back to what happened after we found my dick in the mail (which is a brandnew sentence I never thought I'd even think). Is the same thing happening again? "I wasn't exactly mentally sound all day, thanks to a certain couple! I-I just thought... you don't know what it's like, I thought m-maybe I could fuh-finally live without..."

"Without your brain hating your body." For someone born yesterday, Joy is pretty insightful, even with her erect nipples digging into her bra. "I get it, it's--ngh."

I feel it too. What has been a sort of undercurrent assaulting our esoteric senses (or something, I am not a wizard, I don't know how that stuff works) has now become a raging flood, with our pussy growing inexorably moist and Joy's nipples so hard they almost hurt. My legs grow weak, and I stumble over to a free chair, plopping down heavily as Joy's hands caress my inner thighs and send pleasant tingles up our spines. I know exactly what is happening, as presumably does Joy, but we're powerless to stop it. As is Nick.

"Oh ffff~... It's... starting, I thinnnngh~..." One palm rubbing his chest, the other between his legs, Nick pants and groans helplessly as he writhes in his seat.

"Wh-what is?" Somehow, my hands have found Joy's breasts, so big and soft under her top, while hers have found our pussy. "What's it even supposed to do?"

"Th-they said it'd... guh-give me a body that fit my mind..." And his mind is horny, it seems. Already his pecs are swollen, with nipples that grow more turgid by the seconds, breath coming in short gasps. "No one told m-me it'd feel this gooood~!"

And somehow, we can feel it. Waves of lust batter our minds, Joy's entire body throbbing very much like back when she was just my cock, and I push my right under her top at her trim belly while my left quests up her back to find the hooks of her bra. Joy's own hands are busy fighting the fly of my pants, arousal making them shaky and rather uncooperative, the gentle rolling of my hips not necessarily helping. But I can't help moving them, not with the gentle ache deep in our loins, the emptiness that keeps growing.

As does Nick, as it turns out as I throw a glance over to him. His left has something to grab by now, shirt tented by ever fatter nipples, the buttons doing their best to hold on, but the gaps between them keep growing wider. Nick's entire shirt is getting tighter and tighter around his frame as his arms and shoulders swell - not with fat, but muscle, despite a certain softness that gives his limbs a feminine look, even with Nick's biceps bulging with every squeeze and stroke and caress of his hands. Of course, his face isn't spared either, losing what little stubble Nick had as his cheeks grow more pronounced and his lashes thicken. It's not enough to make Nick centerfold material or even cute, but he does inch away from masculinity with every passing second.

"Hnnfh~..." With Joy finally opening my fly, she wastes no time to tease our slit, languidly and without hurry, ample lubrication helping to make my legs twitch at every touch. "K-keep going, Joy..."

Meanwhile, I have managed to free my conjoined girlfriend's perfect pair - seriously, my subconscious must have influenced Joy's form, her boobs are divine. Pulling up her top so it and her bra rest on her clavicles, I set out to increase both our lust, the throbbing of Joy's body growing deeper and more intense with every heartbeat pounding through us. Her breasts pulse under my fingers, the sensation of feeling them give under my fingers and feeling my hands squeeze them gently still dizzying, but so very lustful, too, only growing stronger as I roll Joy's nipples between two fingers.

The sound of ripping fabric brings at least part of my attention back to Nick, who has grown to impressive proportions, the arms of his button-down shirt ripping around his powerful arms, parted lips just that little fuller, hair just that bit longer to bring him ever closer to the equilibrium between male and female. Although his bulbous breasts do a fair bit to make him look more like a woman than a man - until, that is, Nick staggers to his feet, trying to push down his much to small jeans, an action that is doomed to fail and sends his well-muscled body to the floor, where he stays on his hands and knees, panting and moaning in a deep, yet almost feminine voice.

Finally, we see Nick in his entire, changing glory as he brings one hand between his legs, fighting to free his twitching length. Much like his upper body, everything down from the waist has swollen bigger, filling his clothes past capacity, but struggling to rip them to shreds properly. For now. Because Nick is not yet done growing, breasts so large now that the buttons of his shirt decide to quit rather suddenly, pinging off the ground after Nick's shirt simply explodes open, leaving his swelling breasts to bounce free, almost reaching the floor as Nick's elbow buckles.

I can feel Joy struggle to breathe past the lustful throbbing filling her, and she bites her lower lip as I mash her boobs together, her fingers finally parting our snatch to play with our entrance. Now I struggle to breathe; being penetrated like this is still so new and exciting, even if it's just Joy's slender fingers. Nick's fingers are less slender, but more powerful, finally managing to rip open his jeans at his crotch - and the monster that flops out to drool pre onto the linoleum floor makes both Joy and myself gasp.

It eclipses the dick lying on my dinner table by far, fat and veiny and throbbing, huge even in Nick's not exactly dainty hand as he strokes it, moans with deep satisfaction as he rests his forehead on his free arm, ass raised behind him and breasts bulging out under his upper torso, inching further and further out as Nick furiously masturbates. That is literally the only way I can describe the way Nick thrusts his hips and pumps his hand along his turgid pole as it grows even fatter and longer, the underside bulging obscenely together with his nuts as the purple helmet drools strings of pre that crisscross the floor under Nick's expanding body as more and more rips appear in his clothes.

"Oh fuck..." So help me, it's almost as hot as Joy, in a completely different way. Nick is huge in every way, his hair a mess of curls that hides his entire face, his raised behind so muscular it barely jiggles, but it's still perfect and round and fuck that cock is juicy. "God, I... Joy, do you... hffh~, d-do you see that thing?"

"Uh-huh..." Joy sounds a bit distracted, her eyes glued to Nick's massive rod as her fingers work our pussy. She's throbbing so much, and I buck my hips against her hands, almost thrusting her against my body, hands still glued to Joy's wonderful breasts. "God damn, s-so good~..."

It must be the magic, right? I love Joy, and she loves me, but somehow, I can't help but imagine Nick fucking both of us with that thing between his legs. It's so big that his hand barely reaches around its sheer girth, constantly drooling pre in thick, clear strands. It would split us open... would it even fit? And his truly oversized breasts... they would smother us when Nick would take us, bearing down with his powerful body and pounding again and again and again...

"ArrraaaAHH~!" Lucky for all of us, Nick starts cumming his brains out before our brains become so inundated with lust magic that we lose it and actually let him take us. "Ah! Oooaaah~!"

The sight of Nick's massive rod swelling and pulsing every time his oversized balls pump another rope of thick, milky sperm through it, splattering onto the floor with enough force to almost reach my feet... it's enough to make my heart skip a beat, and the throbbing in Joy's body reaches a crescendo. She grows rigid and archs her back with a strangled moan, straining against my body again and again, as if she's imitating Nick's gargantuan rod - only without cum blasting from her. But the sensations are the same.

"Nh--ah! Agh! Aah!" It robs me of my words just as it robs Joy of her breath entirely, my hips bucking helplessly as Joy's full-body orgasm makes us lose all sense of time, even though it can't last more than a minute. "Nnnffh~..."

"Hrrnh~..." After dumping a literal gallon (or thereabouts) onto the floor, Nick collapses sideways into the puddle of his own cum, not caring that his smooth skin and tattered clothes get soaked in the thick jizz. "G-gaawwd..."

He is a sight to behold, a fusion of bodybuilder and beacon of femininity, globular breasts married to a torso that could bend steel, powerful arms caressing a penis that gives most people's lower arms a run for their money without breaking a sweat, wide hips that lead to thighs that are almost as big around as Joy's entire body - it should look inhuman, right in the depths of the uncanny valley. Instead, it's perfection. At least to my eyes and presumably Joy's, who caresses her smooth stomach as she hums appreciatively in the afterglow.

How is Nick going to react to his new body?

No. We run into Nick first.

Pendant paid, we step back out on the street, Madame Mesmeric's words still in our ears. Magic is real, but even worse, the spell that made us the way we are is a mess. Such a mess that even a professional like her can't even make sense of it. Good bye, hope for a quick fix, we hardly knew ye. Then again, a quick fix would probably mean making Joy disappear, and besides the whole ethical conundrum, I don't want Joy to disappear. Ideally, we find a way to separate into two people. But if my choices end up being 'keep things as they are' and 'never see Joy again'... Well, that's not a choice at all.

"Hey, Earth to Matt... whatcha thinking?"

"Huh?" Joy's question breaks the spiral of my thoughts - and my brain doesn't supply a coherent answer. "Buh."

"Very elo--wait! We need to go to a pharmacy, get some Plan B!" Slapping her forehead, Joy looks up at me. "I mean, better safe than pregnant, right?"

"Yep, sounds good. Carrying around one extra person is already murder on my back and legs."

That earns me an elbow in the ribs, and deservedly so, even though Joy can't help but giggle. Bickering good-naturedly, we make our way to the nearest purveyor of legal drugs, only to find ourselves face to face with none other than Nick right as we answer. Who stares at us like a deer in the headlights. And Joy and I respond by doing the same. It takes the more or less polite cough from a middle-aged gentleman that we're holding up to break us from our mental bluescreens, and we hurry to get out of the way, ending up a few steps to the side, in front of the big shop window of a place that sells custom-made cakes of all things. Only to continue the awkward silence for a bit.

"Listen, man, I..." Nick is the first to break it. Haltingly, but still. "Guys, I'm sorry. I was... What I did wasn't cool, no... no matter how freaked out I was. I mean. Uh, I figure you two were even more freaked out?"

"Ha!" The barking laugh surprises me most of all. But thinking back to that first morning... 'freaked out' is definitely right. "I... uhm, sorry 'bout that. First of all, apology accepted, and man, you wouldn't believe how freaked out we were."

"You were," Joy interjects, and I can hear the smugness in her voice. "I was just happy to see the world."

"Joy, I distinctly remember you freaking out in the shower--"

"Shush, you!" Joy twists around to look up at me, blowing up one cheek in mock anger. "I was, like, not even one day old at the time!"

"Oh, right." Nick looks rather pale, leaning his back against the shop window as he swallows hard. "Sorry, I'm trying to be cool about it, but... it's all a bit much, magic is real, and my best friend has a--"

"Shush!" This time, I join Joy in shushing - what good is my con-strap-tion if Nick just goes and gives everything away? "Listen, we're not keen on everyone knowing. But... thanks for at least trying to be cool about it, yeah?"

"Yeah... man, I... you know why I was at the pharmacy? Got some over the counter stuff to calm my nerves. I..." Poor Nick. He's really taking this kinda hard... I'd never have thought he'd be this shaken be the realization that magic is real. "Listen, I'll go home, take some of my fancy new pills and lie down. You... you two feel like gaming tonight? I'm gonna need something to take my mind off stuff."

"Of course, man!" And why wouldn't I? My best buddy is doing his best to support us, so gaming with him to support him is the least I can do. "Anytime. And if there's anything else I can do for you..."

"Or I!" Joy interjects, crossing her arms and nodding decisively. "You're being real cool about this, about us, so if there's anything we can do..."

"M-maybe there--no. No, I'll be good, once I lay down a bit." Shaking his head, Nick gives me a fistbump and, after a splitsecond of deliberation, also one to Joy before setting off towards the campus, leaving us behind.

"Phew, he's shaken." Pouting as she looks after Nick, Joy puts a hand on her cheek as I scratch the back of my neck. "But he's trying."

"He really is. Wonder why he's taking it this hard?"

"He'll tell us once he's ready, I guess. Now, we better get some Plan B, yeah?" Twisting until she can give me a peck on the cheek, Joy grins impishly. "Don't want you to have to carry two people, after all."

"Smartass."

With Plan B in the bag, we finally begin Plan "Use a necklace as a pendulum to find who wrought the spell that created Joy". Yes, I suck at naming things. Sue me. The problem is... Apparently our campus actually belongs to the American School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. The necklace that was supposed to lead us straight to the culprit keeps freaking out, every place we try swinging it showing at least three distinct directions. And following them at random sends us on a merry chase all over campus, to secluded spots between buildings, in the shrubbery between the bundles of trees that have been placed for human enrichment... If I apply my copious amounts of fantasy gaming knowledge, the campus must be a conflux of ley lines or whatever.

"Well. That got us nowhere fast!" Joy sounds just as grumpy as I am when we finally return to my room, carrying our dinner for today, bought at the campus shop. Which, by the way, also hat five directions the pendulum pointed us towards. The clerk barely even lifted a brow as we used the necklace. "The entire day, and nothing to show for it."

"Yeah. What the hell is going on in this place?" Kicking the door closed behind us, I walk over to the table as Joy opens the con-strap-tion and throws it to the ground. The flaccid dick still lying on the table gives us pause for all of a second. Our life is weird! "Is everyone and their mother casting spells?"

"Apparently... Okay, food first, then we think, and then we game with Nick." Hands at her hips - or rather the spot where they disappear into mine - Joy reasserts that bubbly personality that is never subdued for long, pulling out a chair for us so I can flop down. "There has to be a solu--we're such dumbasses."

"Why, what do you mean?" As I open our sandwiches, Joy pulls the necklace over her head and let's it swing free. And I immediately see what she means. "Oh god, we are!"

Starting at the place where Joy came into being, the necklace shows two directions - one pointing straight at my bed and the other out into the campus somewhere. Palm, meet face. Why didn't we think about this before wasting the entire day?!

"Well, nothing to it. We screwed that one up, but tomorrow is another day." Well, look who's characteristically optimistic! "Now we're gonna eat, then we play some games with Nick!"

"And tomorrow, we'll find whoever is behind this shit!"

What will the gaming session bring?

The internet. The internet knows EVERYTHING.

Freshly showered, dressed in fresh clothes, and still with no idea where to start. That's us right now. Sitting in front of my PC, we do our conjoined couple snuggle, with Joy's head resting on my shoulder and my hands hugging her abs, while her hands rest on the keyboard. The browser is open on a search page, and the cursor is blinking as if it wants to mock us.

"What do I even type? 'Dick replaced by woman'? 'Disembodied cock'? 'Magic turned my life upside down'?"

"Dunno if we're gonna get any results like that... Maybe try 'transformation magic uncontrollable lust'."

"Uh-huh..." Joy does, and the results make her facepalm and me laugh out loud. "Of course it's all goddamn porn!"

"Okay, okay," I try to calm down, still giggling occasionally. "Maybe try 'magic shop near me'. Let's go less specific and try to find an expert on magic first. Maybe they can help us."

"A magic expert with an internet presence. Sure."

Not even ten seconds later, Joy eats her words.

"Look at that. A magic expert with an internet presence." I can't help but smirk a little, earning a playful jab from Joy's elbow. "'Madame Mesmeric's Magical Emporium'. Not too far from campus, too. Worth a try?"

"Worth a try."

Madame Mesmeric's Magical Emporium looks exactly like the place Ellie would frequent. Frequently. In short, it's a stereotypical 'quaint' shop filled with esoteric crap. Healing crystals, incense, self-help books talking about chakras and inner goddesses. But: First impressions can be deceiving. Case in point, me and Joy with our strange strap contraption. No one would ever be able to tell we're actually connected.

"Hmm, how strange. You two... share a body and a soul..."

I stand corrected, on both counts. Madame Mesmeric seems to be the real deal, as she instantly knew what our deal was. Which still comes as a surprise and stuns me and even Joy into silence.

"Oh, don't look at me like a faerie in the face of cold iron. Whatever happened to you is writ large in your aura."

"And you just see that." Joy sounds skeptical, arms crossed under her bosom. Created by magic (apparently), and she's the skeptical one? "See anything else?"

"Yes. That you should get some Plan B, just to be sure."

Joy stammers, and I feel my face heat up. Madame Mesmeric has Second Sight, for sure, but she doesn't have much in the way of tact. She gets up from behind the counter, a portly, stout woman looking for all the world like the stereotypical owner of a stereotypical 'magic' shop, from the bandana with the little jangling coins to the impressive amount of amulets and trinkets around her neck to the richly embroidered dress. But knowing that she knows things, sees things, I can't help but think that she's playing to the expectations of her customers with her outfit.

"It's a fine mess you got yourselves into there," Madame Mesmeric grumbles as she inspects Joy's face closely - so closely, in fact, that Joy shrinks back and presses her body against mine. "Everything's all tangled and knotted, I can't even begin to understand what exactly happened... Your spell got away from you, hm?"

"Wait, what spell?" Confusion is clear in Joy's voice, and I continue the question I know we both have. "We didn't do any spells. I didn't do any spells. A few days ago, I didn't even know magic was real!"

"That's what most people think." Looking smug, Madame Mesmeric makes her way past salt lamps and stacks of incense packets before she turns the 'OPEN'-sign around. "They're wrong."

"Obviously..." Joy mutters under her breath, but Madame Mesmeric either doesn't hear the remark or chooses to ignore it.

"That said, the spell that did this to you had to be both very powerful and very amateurish," the shaman/witch/whatever the term is shakes her head and presses her lips together. "Think of it like programming. There are no annotations to your 'code', it was written by someone who barely had any idea what they were doing, and then the compiler tried to make sense of the code, only to complicate everything further. I can barely tell what the intention was, beyond something with genitals and femininity."

"Uh." That doesn't sound good, and to keep my mind from spiraling, I latch on to the one thing that seems most incongruous. "You own a magic shop. Why do you know about programming?"

"Everyone needs a hobby," Madame Mesmeric shrugs, pulling one of the talismans around her neck over her head so she can let it circle in front of me and Joy - and the arc the gemstone takes does not seem to follow the path I would expect. The wince on Madame Mesmeric's face also doesn't raise our hopes. "That's what I feared. I think my great-niece would use the term 'borked'. I don't think anything in my shop or my power can help you, my dears. Your one chance is to find whoever did this to you and pray to the Ancestors that they can do something."

"That... well." Hopes thoroughly dashed, I slump slightly and hug Joy from behind, her hands quickly finding mine.

"It's less than we hoped for, but more than we feared," Joy says dejectedly, giving Madame Mesmeric a weak smile that the witch answers with an apologetic one.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be of much help, dears. But look at the bright side, you seem to be getting along splendidly." The pointed look she gives Joy's lower abdomen makes us both blush again. "But there's one thing I can do for you."

Taking off another one of her charms, Madame Mesmeric holds it out to us - on a fine silver chain hangs a little white crystal that once again swings in a way that doesn't quite mesh with physics.

"This talisman should help you trace back the magic to its originator, the one that did this to you." Taking Joy's hand and putting it in her palm, Madame Mesmeric smiles warmly. "Only 25 dollars. I do run a business, you know."

Joy sputters, and I raise my eyebrows, but the decision is already made. I'm the one with the money, 25 bucks isn't that much, and finding whoever did this takes first priority. Although I have my suspicions.

Are we going to go looking for the culprit straight-away?

We have just creampied ourselves. Cleaning up is pretty high on the list.

Taking a shower is actually a good idea, considering the cum leaking from our pussy. Whelp, there's a sentence I never expected to think... But still, it's what we have to deal with for now, dealing with the whole magic situation comes later. And learning who the heck curse me by taking away my dick and bless me with giving me Joy instead. And making sure I don't flunk out of college. I must be becoming an adult, my life is getting complicated. While I'm thinking about important things and walking us into the bathroom absentmindedly, Joy takes care of the important stuff, like pulling off our shirts in an impressive display of flexibility.

"You back with us, Matt?" Tapping my nose, Joy grins at me in that upside-down-and-from-below way that makes my heart race, just like every other smile she gives me. Yep, I've fallen for this girl - head over heels. "Whatcha thinking about?"

"Mh, just trying to wrap my head around the fact magic exists and someone put a spell on me. On us." I grin back down at Joy. "You certainly put a spell on me."

"You cheesy dork," Joy giggles, bumping her elbow into my side. "C'mon, let's take that shower."

"Excuse you, I consider myself an impeccable romantic," I express gravely as I step into the shower, Joy opening the door for us. "I don't blame you for not realising, you were literally born yesterday."

"Psh, born is a stretch. Also, I do think I know a dork from a romantic." While we tease each other, Joy turns on the shower on, the water feeling heavenly on our skin.

"Shows what you know..." I reply, squirting soap into my hand before handing the bottle to Joy.

"Thanks." Taking the bottle from me, Joy begins to lather herself up, as do I. "And I do know enough. Dork."

Chuckling, I lather up myself, idly noting that even though Joy thoroughly cleans herself, breasts and pussy included, there is no insane sensitivity or uncontrollable lust. I guess magic was to blame for all of that...

"Ma-aatt~?" The singsong of Joy's voice tells me she probably wants something. "Could you, you know, put shampoo in my hair... and give me one of your head massages?"

"Hmm..." I knew it. Just you wait, Joy... "So a dork is good enough to rub your head?"

"Okay, okay." Joy giggles and rolls her eyes as she turns her body halfway to smile up at me. Even drenched with water she's breathtakingly beautiful. "Please, Mr Impeccable Romantic, will you give me a head massage?"

"I guess I can't say no to that," I reply, even if the twinkle in her eyes tells me Joy is still teasing me.

Of course, the fact that our shared senses mean giving Joy a massage also feels really good for me helps with my decision, and soon, I find myself gently rubbing little circles on Joy's scalp with my fingertips. She groans in satisfaction, making me smile - it's fun to do nice things for the people you love. And as weird as it is, having met her yesterday, I do love Joy. Still can't quite wrap my head around it. Then again, being stuck together like this would be a fair bit more awkward otherwise. In the end, we spend an inordinate time under the shower, making me glad I don't have to pay for utilities in the dorms, and afterwards, we take our time drying off, sneaking in kisses and playful little pokes.

It's a lot more fun than showering alone, that's for sure.

Next up: Planning. Who the hell is gonna be able to help us with this magic stuff?

Joy is definitely gonna get a nasty shock from this.

"Matt? Matt?!" Feeling me slump against her cuts Joy's afterglow short pretty effectively. Twisting around as far as she can, she begins to lightly slap my cheek. "Are you alright?! Please, I... hey, come on, just..."

"Mmrbl." Speech cortex: down. I try to move and only manage twitch weakly. Motor cortex: down. "Mmfh."

"Oh god, please tell me I didn't... We didn't..."

"Mmfhnnh." Brain: rebooting. "Imfnh... I'm ffnnh... fine."

"Thank god..." Breathing a sign of relief, Joy turns back around and leans against me. "You scared me! I mean, that was intense, but you really didn't take that well, hm?"

I only groan in reply, in part because I can feel the cock - my cock? - slide out of the snatch I share with Joy, softening all the while, until finally, it drops to the floor. The jolt of pain I feel from this is faint, but helps bring me around all the same. And it also brings me to the problem at hand: We just fucked ourselves with a copy of my old cock. It felt amazing, but it also raises a lot of questions. Beyond the whole Joy thing, I mean. I'm way past the 'Why' by now; it's happened, I even like it if I'm honest.

The real question is 'Who'. I never believed in the stories about magic, about stores with old wizards appearing in a mall to sell stuff that changes people only to never be found again and all that jazz. But what happened with Joy appearing and all is definitely just that, magic - and could have been a freak accident, for all I know. But that cock was delivered in a package. Magic does a lot of things, but it probably doesn't send packages. People do. So who is behind all this? And why did they do this? Huh. Guess I'm not past the 'Why' after all.

Still. Find the 'Who', get the 'Why'. But... 'How' do we do that?

"What'cha thinking about?"

"Huh?" Joy's sudden question throws me for a loop. I briefly consider not telling her about the dick and what it means, but one: we're literally stuck together, so I wouldn't be able to do anything about it without her noticing and two: I love this girl, no matter how weird that is. So I tell her everything.

"Wow, I... Wow, I mean... what?" Ayup, she's taking it well. "You mean this dick..."

She holds up the flaccid, still drooling shaft after she picked it up during my explanation.

"Is your dick from... before? And someone sent it here? And you have a connection to it, like some ESP stuff?"

"No, I said it looks like my dick. The rest is true."

"And there I thought our lives couldn't become any weirder."

"You tell me..."

Joy puts the disembodied cock on the table gently, knowing now that I can feel what happens to it. Although now that neither of us is aroused, I can barely feel anything, even if I focus.

"Now what do we do?" Joy says, eyeing the penis suspiciously.

"I dunno... Maybe give me the box it came in?" As Joy does, I push my lower lip forwards a little. I am stumped, actually clueless. Literally. We have no clue about whoever did this stuff and sent the cock. "Hmm..."

Examining the box yields no further information. No return adress, no brand logo, nothing. But there was that letter, wasn't it? Picking it up where Joy dropped it on the table, I feel a tingle race up my arm like an electric shock, but it's definitely not that. It's lustful, erotic, and it makes me moan involuntarily, just as Joy when the sensation reaches her.

"Okay, what..."

"... the fuck?"

We are, once again of one mind. I rip the letter open in front of both of us and... am sorely disappointed. It's far from a convenient letter saying 'It was me, Matt! It was me all along! - Signed, Whoever McDidAllThis'. Instead, it's a postcard. With a weird, circular drawing on it, surrounded by what can only be runes and if there was ever any doubt that what happened to us was caused by magic, now that doubt is gone. This is definitely magic. And I have no idea what it's supposed to do. But it's a clue.

"That is weird. Do you think it's what made us so horny? I mean, with that weird shock and all..."

For someone that is not even two days old, Joy has some great deduction skills. And me, I'm apparently an idiot.

"So it wasn't Finn then, but this thing..."

"Well, Finn is really hot." Joy is definitely right on that one. "But I guess this stuff made us lose control like that. It still feels tingly..."

Joy pokes the postcard in my hands with one finger. There is a constant gentle tingle, making our recently-fucked pussy and Joy's nipples pulse with subdued lust. Probably better to put the postcard back on the table then. And what do you know, as soon as I do, the lust begins to ebb.

"Wow. Alright. So, magic is real. I mean, the other ideas in the running were 'dream' and 'alien experiment', so nice to know what's what." Joy stretches, and I feel her breasts wobble gently. It's still distracting, but that might be the lingering effect of the lust spell. Even thinking that feels kinda crazy, despite everything... "What do you say we take a shower and think about what we do with this thing?"

What do I say?

Well, fucking is the right idea, considering both our states.

"Lookit the little cutie!" Joy coos, pulling the disembodied member closer and petting the top of it, near the glans. It throbs and pulses, slowly beginning to swell in her hand, gently pushing her fingers apart. Again, there is this faint, familiar feeling, almost lost in the pleasure radiating from Joy's entire body. Rationality rapidly declining, I can only stare as Joy strokes the hardening shaft that I thought I'd never see again. "Ooh, it's excited to see us, so eager!"

Considering how she came to exist, it's probably not necessarily strange that Joy is not fazed at all by the fact that she's holding a dick that is rapidly becoming impressively erect - particularly so due to the fact that it's all on its own. The balls dangling from the one end twitch as Joy caresses them with one fingertip, and I can feel the wrinkly skin through our shared senses. This is so weird. My cock turned into a small woman that turned into a big woman, and we're in love, and now there's a cock looking just like mine did and it's hard and throbbing and fuck I want it inside our pussy so bad.

I want to be filled by this thing, and after living two decades with a dick, this irresistible need is as disorienting as the confusing sensations trying to fry my brain with overwhelming lust and pleasure.

"Mmh, you came at the perfect time..." Joy moans as she runs her thumb along the swollen underside of the throbbing shaft in her hand. At least one of us is still able to actually do something about our near-debilitating lust. Probably because she's not reeling from seeing a bodypart she ran around with all her life suddenly _dis_embodied. "I need you sooo bad. But... Matt? Are you... okay with this?"

Instead of an answer, I grab both of Joy's spectacular tits, making both of us suck in a sharp breath as pleasure jolts through us. Fuck it, I'm too horny; let's worry about consequences later.

"Just do it," I breathe into her ear, more moan than sentence. "Pound our pussy with that thing."

Just saying it makes the breath hitch in my throat, and Joy's and my heart beat, no, race in unison. Technically we're both virgins, at least when it comes to our pussy, and oh god this cock looks huge as Joy moves it towards her mouth. As she sticks out her tongue to give the fat, purple head a slow lick, I realize we're still wearing pants. As this is generally not conducive to most sex acts, I begin to frantically push them down our hips, wriggling on the chair until our glistening, reddened snatch is revealed, ready and eager to take this strange and yet so familiar shaft.

"Mmh, tashty..." Joy mumbles around the fat tip of the cock my excited movements pushed between her lips. And... I know my cock. I held it in my hand many times while I jerked off. And yet, just the tip feels gigantic in Joy's mouth, her lips all tingly as she gently spreads saliva on the throbbing member's tip. "God, it'sh sho hard..."

Me, I can only pant and writhe, my hands twitching and caressing Joy's taut belly haphazardly. I feel everything she feels - the warm, wet emptiness between my legs, the pulsing, rock-hard nipples on her chest, the tingling of her lips, the throbbing shaft as her tongue plays over it... And there the weirdness begins. Or continues; ever since I woke up with Joy attached to my crotch, things have been decidedly weird. I can also feel each throb of the shaft, the warm wetness of Joy's mouth, the buzzing length and the burbling balls of the member that looks exactly like mine... it's faint, but it's there, and disorienting as heck. Enormously enjoyable, but dizzying in more than one way.

"Mgh..." With a slurping *pop*, Joy pulls the cock out of her mouth, she herself panting with excitement as she moves the twitching shaft lower and lower, almost reverentially. "I can't wait to have this thing inside me..."

And so help me, neither can I. This is my own cock, for Pete's sakes, or one that looks just like it! And yet, I can feel our pussy drool, twitch, burn with the incessant need to be filled by this thick, throbbing, veiny... just listen to me. I'm mindlessly horny for my own dick, and every second Joy spends with savoring the anticipation instead of just plunging that thing into us threatens to make me rip that disembodied shaft from Joy's hands and do it myself.

Instead, I decide to busy myself with Joy's fantastic tits. They're so big and round and soft and perky that they're a suitable distraction while Joy bites her lower lip and uses one finger to tease the underside of that dripping shaft, the freely hanging balls twitching as I faintly feel precum bubble up its length. It drips on Joy's taut belly, and she gently puts the spongy tip against her skin, right below her belly button, the heat and sticky wetness against her skin a promise of what's to come. I lean my head forwards, intending to tell Joy to hurry up finally, but the sensation of the disembodied member inching towards our snatch makes the breath hitch in my throat, and I instead elect to nibble on Joy's ear gently, making the breath hitch in her throat.

And finally, as I cup Joy's marvelous breasts and pinch her nipples between two fingers, the engorged head of our living dildo touches our lower lips, already red and swollen and gaping to receive that fat prick. My heart thunders as I stare down past Joy's head and tits, barely able to breathe as Joy teases our entrance for all of two seconds before her will to build our anticipation evaporates, her patience finally snapping like mine almost did what felt like hours ago - and simply plunges the cock inside of us until the balls are squeezed against my thighs.

I thought I couldn't breathe before - I was wrong. The shaft fills us so completely that there doesn't seem to be any room for air left. My legs shake and twitch as my mouth gapes open, both our backs arching as every thought, every sensation except pure, agonizing pleasure is burned from us and I squeeze Joy's tits involuntarily, spasmodic twitches making me maul the soft orbs. And the sensations only enhance the pleasure roaring through us. Little gasping sounds are all we can make as the cock filling us strains and twitches and drools into our depths, and the dizzying sensations of being penetrated and penetratingat the same time make my eyes roll up in my head.

When it finally ends, Joy and I hang limply on the chair, panting and gasping as we try to recover, our pussy twitching and massaging the shaft inside of us as if it wants to pull it deeper inside. Only we're already filled to the brim, almost making it impossible for both of us to breathe, and boy, do we need to catch our breaths after what just happened.

"Oh..."

"My..."

"God."

We find our voices at the same time, and our sentiments to what just happened are pretty much the same. I caress Joy's tits absentmindedly as she pets the base of the cock stuck inside of us - before grabbing it by the balls to pull it out partway and push it back in.

"Haaah~!"

It's either Joy or me that makes that noise, or maybe it's both of us, and Joy sure as hell doesn't stop. Hell, I don't want her to! With a cock, things would have been largely over after cumming like that - even if I usually tried to do my best with my fingers and mouth if my partner wasn't quite satisfied - but with this pussy that came with Joy? It feels insanely good even with Joy's inexperienced stroking, back and forth, in and out, and the alien sensation of our slick hole being filled combined with the faint, but noticeable and much more familiar feeling of pounding the same slick hole make pant and gasp, my brain in no way equipped to deal with what's happening.

Which doesn't mean I can't enjoy it, and I do so immensely. It's a much more full-body pleasure compared to sex with a cock, and at least I get double the fun with the way I feel what Joy feels. It's amazing, with my hands on her breasts teasing the stiff buds on these soft orbs, squeezing them together lightly, doing everything I can to support what Joy is doing down below. The thick member pushes our inner walls apart, the swollen helmet scraping over every quivering fold and belching pre into our depths with every twitch, every surge, every straining pulse. I can feel the balls churn with their heavy cargo as they bounce against my ass, and I know what the excited buzzing and all the spasms mean. Joy, being all of one day old and of the female persuasion, doesn't.

"Oh my god, oh god, thank you, whoever send us this, this--"

"Ouungh~!"

Where the sensations the disembodied shaft broadcasted into my brain were a little faint and just the cherry on top of this amazing pleasure pie, the climax is a sharp stab straight into the center of my brain, every thought gone in an instant as I feel hot stickiness flooding deep into us. Joy giggles at the feeling, cooing as she slows her thrusting, gently rubbing our clit with one thumb as she keeps the twitching rod buried deep inside us as its fat nuts contract and force their contents to splatter against the entrance to our womb. The electric jolts racing through us do not help my mental state, and the noises this has me make would be embarassing - if I could find it in me to care, or do anything but ride this wave of pleasure.

And then, Joy manages to rub herself to a second climax - and by extension, me.

I make a strangled noise and slump down on the chair, my chin coming to rest on Joy's shoulder as I groan and twitch, brain basically short-circuited by three climaxes, two of them more or less simultaneously.

Am I ever gonna recover? And how soon can I do it again?

Just a few things so she doesn't have to wear my old stuff.

In the end, we cut our shopping trip short, only getting Joy a few tops, shirts, bras - thank god for smartphones, neither of us would have figured out how to measure Joy without help, and the sales girls were not an option for obvious reasons. Oh, and two cardigans for when it gets cold. Or rather cold-er in these parts, but there are months where just a shirt doesn't cut it. The entire time I can tell Joy isn't really into it anymore, mind elsewhere as she's picking out whatever fits and is comfy instead of running the gamut of styles and colors and what have you.

Then again, I'm not much better. With one word - okay, one conversation, but please allow my nervous ass this hyperbole - Nick can bring Joy's newly started life crashing down. And mine with it. And all I can do is trust my buddy that he won't do it. Oh, Joy. No, not the one attached to my hips.

On the way back, Joy carries the two bags with our new clothes while I wrap my arms around her stomach; I try to be supportive, give her some warmth, but feeling my own arms on Joy's body is still disorienting. And the slight rubbing with every step is lowkey enjoyable. Not surprising, considering Joy is technically my dick, and I can feel her nipples pulse and stiffen slowly.

What does come as a surprise is the little package in front of my dorm room - there is no address sticker on it. Instead, a letter is taped to the package, blank except for my name scrawled over the middle.

"Matt? What's this?" Joy asks, with genuine interest and only a hint of worry. Figures she'd bounce back from what has happened at the slightest distraction, or maybe she's shoving things deep down...

"A package, dingus."

"Harr-dee-harr. Did you order anything?"

"Nope... someone on campus must have handed this to someone in the dorm, I guess?"

"Probably. Here, hold the bags and let me..."

Joy leaning forwards to pick up the package almost topples us over - the straps pull me after her and I have to hold on to the door so we don't fall. And of course now some rando walks past, raising an eyebrow at us... and slows down. I have seen him around, rowing like crazy at the gym, running on campus, dark skin glistening with sweat, and I realize I'm staring and he stopped in front of us and--

"Uh, Matt? How about standing up straight again? And saying hi properly?"

"Ah, so you're Matt!" Tall, dark and handsome, and a deep, rich voice to boot. And why the heck does this make me all hot and bothered? Is it something bleeding over from Joy? Is this entire situation messing with my-- scratch that, this entire situation is definitely messing with my head. At least I finally manage to stand up straight. "I'm Finn, short for Finnegan, but no one calls me that if I can help it. And your friend here is?"

"I'm Joy, nice to meetcha!" Tucking the package under her left arm, Joy extends her right hand to shake Finn's. It feels warm and smooth and strong and somehow, it makes our nipples as hard as rocks, a by now familiar heat building deep within Joy. And somehow, she doesn't let it show at all. "I basically just moved in with Matt today, 'cause I need some help what with the whole lack of legs and us being a couple and stuff."

Point taken, Joy. We're weird, but we're together, and I can't go lusting after random guys like a budding bisexual. Not that I take issue with that sexual orientation or discovering I even am in the first place, but I do take issue with unfaithfulness. And drooling over Finn's muscular arms and tight shirt over bulging and-- god dammit.

"Yeah, uhm, Joy's my girlfriend, and, uh... yeah." I try to catch myself, putting down one of the bags to shake Finn's hand myself after a second. After feeling Joy shake his, I almost forgot that I haven't. "I've seen you around here before, you're always working out and stuff."

"Well, I'm here on a sports scholarship, so my days are busy. Whenever I'm not learning, I make sure I stay in shape," Finn grins, revealing white teeth in a stark, striking contrast with his skin.

"Sports scholarship? Football, baseball, basketball?" Joy seems genuinely interested, although not in a flirty way. Even if we're both really affected by how unfairly hot Finn is.

"Rowing, actually. Listen, sorry for gawking and running, but I need to get to our training sesh. It was nice to meet you guys, I'll see you around!"

"Don't worry about it, nice to meet you too!" Joy waves after Finn as he jogs off, giving a little wave before turning around properly and disappearing down the stairs.

"Holy--"

"Shit."

We need a minute to catch our breaths, and I use the time to pull my keys out of my pocket and let us into our dorm room, where I flop down next to the dinner table, dropping the bags to the floor as Joy puts the package on the table itself.

"That guy was so sexy!" I blurt out, my heart dropping even as I say it. Should I really be saying this when I'm with Joy...?

"I know, right?! Holy fuck, it should be illegal to be this attractive. Seriously, just being close to him made me super horny! Can we, I mean, get out of these straps and let off some steam? I need you to fingerfuck me into oblivion after this."

"Oh, I'm definitely with you on that one!" I can feel our pussy drenching my shorts. Our self-control - selves-control? - is in shambles. "Let me just get this..."

As I get to freeing us from the contraption I... contrapted, Joy gently caresses her breasts, making both of us sigh and shudder lustfully - but when I need her to let them go so I can pull the straps aside, her ADHD brain locks in on the package, and while I keep working on the straps, Joy rips the letter off and puts it aside. The box itself isn't even taped shut, but when Joy opens it...

"Uhm, Matt?"

"Mhmm~?" Humming, I drop the straps to the floor and let my hands run over Joy's stomach towards our slick honeypot.

"There... there's a cock in the package. Like, a real one."

That douses our lust somewhat. It's definitely still there, but there's an edge of anxiety creeping in.

"But there's no blood...?" As Joy reaches into the package and gently grabs something soft, spongy and warm, I feel a phantom, a faint suggestion of sensation. "And it's... alive? I think I feel a pulse..."

Joy pulls the shaft out of the box, and my jaw drops. It's definitely a cock, it's definitely alive and not attached to anyone... and I know it, albeit not from this angle or distance.

It's mine.

What, and I can't stress this enough, the fuck?

Seeing as we're literally joined at the hip, we can easily do both at the same time.

"Well, fuck." I strain upwards to look across the racks and shelves of clothing, trying to see hide or hair of Nick. "Do you see him anywhere?"

"Matt, I'm literally strapped to your front. All I see is totally cute tops," Joy replies, only to quickly continue: "Sorry, I know I'm not helping. What do we do?"

I have no idea, actually. Does Nick just need some time to think things through? Should we chase after him in case he does something rash - like tell someone about Joy and me? If he does, what will happen? I have no idea. Ever since Joy popped into my life, I seem to end up in a lot of situations where that happens. And somehow, even with the sudden stress of being found out on our very first outing, I feel like I can make it through this. Okay, not 'somehow' - with Joy by my side. Or front, if we're being hyper-correct.

"Dunno," I finally say, shrugging - and then cursing internally, because the motion causes the straps to pull on Joy's body, squishing her tits... and I'm still not used to them being fondled or touched in any way. With the way Joy stifles a gasp and how her nipples harden, neither is she. "Uh, I... well... I say we look for Nick and I call him. If he doesn't answer, I can at least leave a message and tell him... something?"

"Solid plan. Okay, yeah, I'm just being supportive. Even I can see the holes, but it's not like I have anything better..."

"So much for being supportive, huh?"

Joy just looks up at me and sticks out her tongue playfully, a grin pulling at her lips. Since, unlike our sensations, our emotions aren't linked, I can't easily tell if she's just putting up a front. But considering the situation bothers me, and Joy is the one most affected by it, she's probably definitely putting up a front. Or something. Argh, can I just go back to the time where the biggest problem in my pants was if my boxers were pinching my balls?!

What do you know, it's like Nick vanished into thin air. And his phone is off. And I am not surprised. To be honest, if I found out that my best friend suddenly had a beautiful woman stuck to his hips, I'd probably react much the same. Although it's probably for the best that Nick doesn't know the full picture. Where Joy used to be my dick and I can feel every inch of her body.

"Whattt~ do we do now, Matt?" We're sitting on a bench in the sun, with Joy leaning back into my body as I slump down, trying not to feel defeated.

"I can tell you what we won't do - stress out over this." Truth be told, I'm trying to convince myself as much as Joy. "Nick has been my best friend since before middle school. I think I trust him not to fuck us over. Do you... do you still feel like shopping? I mean, we went out to get you some stuff of your own."

Does Joy feel like putting together a wardrobe?

He's an inquisitive guy with boundary issues. Take a guess.

"Yo dude, I think you can let her... down now..." Nick has pulled the curtain aside a little to take a peek inside - after all, he knows Joy is dressed and I shouldn't even have gotten naked.

But of course, what he sees is the harness lying on the floor, and Joy just jutting from my hips without me holding her in any way, shape, or form. No wonder he trailed off. And is now staring at us staring at him in the mirror. And to make matters worse, Joy recovers first...

"Uh, hi, Nick, this is just, uhm, you see, I... no, we..." Joy deflates. Her bullshitting skills leave something to be desired - after all, she was born... no, came into existence literally yesterday. "Alright, I got nothing. Nada. Zip. It's exactly what it looks like."

"Really?" Nick's voice sounds weirdly strained, and I can see him turning white as a sheet. Gripping the side of the changing cubicle, he continues. "'Cause it looks like my best bud is a Siamese twin. Which is impossible. I'd have noticed that, I think. So what... the fuck. I... I need to sit down..."

And of course, where else would Nick sit down but on the stool in our cubicle. It's getting crowded in here. I turn Joy and me around and lean into a corner to alleviate the room situation and look at my best bud. He looks like shit... hey, I'm his best friend. I'm contractually obligated to say and think stuff like that! But still, I need to start explaining.

"Listen, man, I... we have no idea ourselves what happened," I begin. And that's also were I stop. How do I explain to my buddy that my cock turned into a smoking hot, super cute and all around adorable girl? That I fell in love with?"

"It just... happened. One day - boom - I just wake up and... am!" Luckily, Joy picks up the slack. Well, lucky for the pacing of our story. "After that, a whole lotta stuff happened, and Matt first thought I was a dream, and, uh... yeah, we decided to get me some stuff to wear and then we met you."

"So... all the time? Even when we were gaming together? You... you guys were like this?"

"Never knew anything else!" Joy replies, sounding rather chipper for someone that's dependent on me for even walking her everywhere.

"That's... fuck. This so fucking crazy, I... I had a fucking crush on a girl that isn't even real!"

"I'm plenty real, thank you very much!" Joy tries to sound flippant, but even though I've only been with her for about a day, I can tell she's hurt. And even beyond that, I get it. Someone telling you you're not real has to hurt. And besides...

"Dude, you had a crush on Joy?" Major bro code violation. Also, I seem to be using humor to get through this situation; I've never seen Nick like this and am a little out of my depth.

"I--shit, I can't deal with this!"

With that, he jumps up and storms out of the changing cubicle. By the time Joy and I have put on our harness, he's gone.

Should we try and find Nick? Call him, maybe? How the hell do we deal with this?

Going shopping for clothes. With Nick in tow.

"Oh. My. God. I'm stuffed. I can't take a single step." Joy groans and leans back against me, rubbing her stomach. The tingling from that is just a little too pleasurable for her to do this in public, but I decide not to say anything. After all, that would kind of give away that we share some senses.

"Hey, it's not like you actually have to--fuck, sorry. That was insensitive." Yes, Nick has a habit to put his foot in the mouth. But lucky for him, he's a good guy, too. "Have Matt kick me or something."

Forget I said anything. He's an ass. Why do I hang out so much with him again?

"You heard him, Matt. Kick him for me!" Joy seems to enjoy the banter, at least. And with her batting her eyes at me from where her head rests on my shoulder...

"Ow! I didn't think you'd take me up on that!" Laughing, Nick rubs his shin where I lightly bumped my foot against it. Alright, maybe not that lightly. "Have mercy, please. Alright, now that I've been suitably punished: Got anything planned for today?"

"Uh, well, we kind of wanted to go shopping for clothes, get Joy some new threads, y'know?" I say, in the hopes that Nick would rather go back to his place and game or learn or whatever he does in his free time. But...

"Awesome, I'm in!" No such luck. That damn weirdo... "Going shopping with my best friend and his smoking hot girlfriend? Yes, please!"

"Sure, why not," Joy answers while I still wrack my brain for an excuse to shake Nick off. Whelp... now we have to get through an extended shopping trip with one of the smartest smartasses I know and hope he doesn't find out his best friend turned into a siamese twin over night.

"Aalrighty then, here we are!" Even though he invited himself on our trip, Nick puts on a showmaster impression as we enter one of the lower end clothing stores in the mall just off campus. It has a lot of cheap stores that prey on-- excuse me, target... that sounds sinister too... that offer their goods and services to college students with mid-sized or small wallets. "Everything a lady needs. From makeup over toiletry to clothes - upper- and underwear! And as I'm most assuredly not a pervert, I shall not ogle anyone in here. Much."

See, I know he's joking, and Joy probably suspects it, but Nick manages to get one hell of a stink-eye from the cashier within half a minute of entering the store. To his credit, he does look slightly embarassed and mouths a 'sorry' her way. Hey, he's an ass, not socially inept!

"Okay, now that we've got the ill-advised jokes out of the way, what do you want to check out first?" I adress Joy to fill the slightly awkward silence someone created.

"Let's see. I need..." To my mounting horror, Joy begins counting off her fingers. And keeps counting. And counting. "At least 10 bras, one or two--no wait: I also need about 15 panties, shirts and blouses of course - depending on how many I like, but at least 8, maybe a hat or two, a few scarves and/or bandanas, necklaces, bracelets, rings, and if we can get my ears pierced, some ear rings, too!"

And there goes my entire gaming budget for the rest of the year. I mean, what kind of guy would I be if I didn't give my girlfriend everything she needs? Alright, she only needs the clothing, but who doesn't like to dress up a little? I do have a smoking with a fitting vest that makes me look smoking hot, if you'll pardon the pun. And if Joy has something to dress up with, I'll have a super hot and stylish girlfriend. Who's attached to me at the hip, but whatever.

"That's quite a list. You lost everything you had in a housefire or something?" Leave it to Nick to make a quip that's just on the verge of being insulting.

"Something like that..." Joy replies before I can answer.

"I am. So sorry." As quick as Nick is to put his foot in his mouth, as quick is he to spit it back out again. "Aaanywhoo, want to get to the actual shopping?"

Joy actually can't wait and practically pulls me through the shop, even though I am the one wearing the pants in this relationship. Literally. But then again, Joy is wearing the metaphorical pants, and that's the thing that really matters. Nick offers to do penance by being Joy's pack mule and is soon disappearing under a heap of stuff - clothes, accessories, underwear... This is gonna be murder on my bank account. I probably can afford most of it without having to eat ramen for the rest of the month. Probably.

Of course, the shop has the usual 'three pieces only' policy at the dressing room. The good news: We can circumvent this by having Nick stand in front of the cubicle with the rest of the stuff. The bad news: We circumvent this by having Nick stand in front of the cubicle. This will require utmost care so he doesn't catch on. Or catch us. But first things first: After stepping into the cubicle with Joy's favored tops, we get rid of the straps that 'hold' Joy so she can try on the first one. But there's one thing I didn't take into account...

"Woah!" Smitten with the way she looks in a proper women's shirt - well-tailored, pastel turquoise with abstract, circular designs on the front - Joy stares at her reflection, then at mine, a huge smile spreading on her face. "This is... I love this! It looks awesome!"

And before I can react, Joy pushes herself off the mirror, twisting me around on the spot, and pokes her head and part of her torso out of the cubicle to grin at Nick.

"Look, Nick! The first shirt, and I look great in it!"

"So you do..." Nick sounds confused, and I know why - as far as he knows, Joy doesn't have legs. So why is she so high off the floor, now that I should have set her down? And I bet he's going to ask himself why I haven't left the cubicle to leave Joy to try on her clothes and shoot the shit with him. "But, uh... what..."

Before he can confirm that he's thinking what I think he's thinking, I pull Joy back into the cubicle and glare at her via the mirror. To her credit, she turns bright red as soon as she realizes what she just did. She opens and closes her mouth, eyes wide open, trying to think of something to say, something to do to salvage the situation, but neither of us can think of something.

So Nick recovers faster than us.

What is Nick going to say? Or do?

We're DEFINITELY turning a few heads.

The second we step out of the dorm, I begin having second thoughts. Is my dumbass con-strap-tion really going to fool anyone? Or our so-called cover story? Not that my worries are shared by Joy in any way - she's grinning hugely, practically bouncing with excitement and looking around at buildings, trees, skies, other people, like she hasn't seen any of that before... I stop in my tracks as I realize that that's exactly the case. She's been outside once in her entire life, and I made her hide under my shirt the whole time. Some boyfriend I am.

"Hey, what's the matter? C'mon, I wanna see the city!" Joy turns in the harness and her exuberant grin gets replaced by a look of worry as she sees my expression. Whatever face I'm making, it seems to give her pause. "Something wrong, Matt?"

"Huh? Nah!" I quickly play it down - won't do to cry about the past if I can live in the present with Joy. "Just lost in thought for a second. What do you want to check out first?"

"The café! A café? I guess there's more than one." And she's back in good spirits. "We kinda need to get some breakfast."

"Trrrue that." I completely forgot; among all the stuff going on this morning, we actually didn't eat anything. "I know a neat little café just off campus, let's grab a bite there, and afterwards I'll show you the city."

As we set off again, I notice that we've already caught our first 'admirer' - some guy I've seen around university a few times is staring at us from the other side of the plaza in front of the dorm, somewhere between leering at Joy's admittedly marvelous tits and freaked out by her lack of legs. As he notices us return the stare, Joy with a wave and I with a raised middle-finger, the guy's eyes go wide and he legs it. Asshole, treating my girlfriend like a piece of eye-candy slash freakshow...

And surprise, surprise, he's not the only one. A gaggle of college girls points and talks in hushed voices, as we step off campus, a mother with a stroller stops and stares - it goes on and on, and it is starting to make me angry. If people aren't staring or throwing glances, they're awkwardly trying to avoid looking at us at all. I mean, the good news is that our 'disguise' seems to be working. Still sucks that everyone seems to be looking at my 'disabled' girlfriend with either pity or barely concealed sensationalist interest - 'Oy, look at the legless lass over there!'

Makes my blood boil. And being hungry doesn't exactly help. Ironically, I get so furious that I almost walk right past the café; only Joy's excited gasp stops me in my tracks. That and her hand grabbing the fence around the outside sitting area.

"Woaah! It's. So. Cute." It's... a little above average, I'd say. If Joy wasn't so hyped up about her first breakfast in a café, that is. "C'mon, where do we sit? What do we order? Oooh, can I get a cinnamon roll? Also, what`s a cinnamon roll, and how do I know that name?"

"Pipe down a little, please!" I shush Joy, squeezing her hand lightly. "Remember, you're a normal, college-age woman, who definitely had cinnamon rolls before, and will totally get one now."

"Yay!" Joy twists her body around and gives me a quick peck on the lips, giving me that damn smile I want to see as often as possible before turning back around, flicking her hand in a dismissive gesture. "I mean, sure, whatever. I'll just have, like, a cinnamon roll and a pumpkin spice latte. Gotta love the cinnamon rolls."

"It's summer. That pumpkin spice latte will have to wait a few months." I grin and lean forwards to give Joy a kiss on the cheek. Even with some of the patrons of the café staring at us, I find myself enjoying this first outing... no, date with Joy. "Good valley girl impression, though. Where did you learn that?"

"As with many things in my brain... I have no idea."

Chuckling, we begin walking towards a free table and sit down, Joy smiling at one of the staring groups while I stare down another. And of course, as soon as either of us returns their looks, everyone turns away and acts innocent. I sigh in annoyance and look for someone that will serve us. Luckily, we're rather late, so not much is going on, and a server soon walks up to our table and is actually professional enough to treat us as patrons, not a freakshow.

"Welcome to Darcy's Delights, I'm Lewis, your server. What can I get you folks?"

"A CINNA--" Joy interrupts her excited almost-yell with a cough. "I mean, a cinnamon roll, thank you. Totally had them before. And, uhm, o-orange juice?"

"Certainly. And for you, sir?" Lewis is completely unperturbed. I'm sure he sees a lot of weird people in his job.

"A cream cheese bagel and a coffee, black with one sugar, please."

"Of course. That will be just a minute, thank you for your patience."

With that, he's off, leaving us to fend with the looks of the other people in the café. And while it annoys me how they look at us, I also begin to worry again - with us being the center of attention, will anyone notice the truth about me and Joy? It's not like the shirts barely conceal the fact that she's growing from my hips! Why did I think this was a good idea again? Oh, right, because staying inside wasn't really an option and I felt bad that Joy had never been outside properly. Let's just hope that we...

"He-heeey, Matt!" ... don't run into people I know. Like known motormouth and resident best friend Nick. "Aaand going out on a limb here - Joy?"

"Oh, hi! You're Nick, right?" Of course Joy recognizes the guy; for all his faults, he is most definitely a unique kind of guy. "So good to finally meet you - not over a call, I mean."

"Abso-effin'-lutely. I have to say, you look even more beautiful than your voice made me think." Laying it on way too thick, Nick sits down across from us with his cock-sure grin. "Dude, why didn't you tell me you were going to get breakfast with your girlfriend? Seriously, if I hadn't run into you..."

"Dude, it's almost noon. I figured you'd already eaten." Although I'm still nervous about getting found out, the way he's treating Joy is rather reassuring - not as a freak, not as a pity case, just a normal girl that I happen to carry around in a mess of straps. Would he be that calm and flirtatious if he knew the truth? "Besides, I knew you'd do your Mr Steal Yo Girl routine as soon as you saw her."

"How could I not, man?" Putting on a smile he definitely thinks is dazzling and suave, Nick turns to Joy. "I hope I'm not too forward, ma'am, but you're a major hottie and my buddy is a damn lucky man."

"My, thank you, sir, you are most kind." For a one day old woman that took the place of my cock yesterday, Joy manages a quite convincing British accent. "But Matt isn't too bad, either."

Reaching down, she grabs my ass before I can react and squeezes it playfully. I can't suppress a yelp, and of course Nick and Joy can't help but laugh at me.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, you guys." Aren't I witty today. But hey, I'm the one with the gorgeous redhead as a girlfriend, even if it cost me my dick.

"Sorry, dude." Nick chuckles, wiping his eyes. "But seriously, I already have a better feeling about you two than I ever had about you and Ellie. Ms Smith was never quite... you know."

"You know what?" Joy twists around to look at me, the straps pulling tight around our bodies. "One day, you'll have to tell me more about her."

"Iiii'd rather put all that behind me." Wincing, I look to check where Lewis is. Our food can't take that long, can it? "Maybe after some proper therapy sessions."

"I'm not gonna say 'it wasn't that bad', man. I've seen the fallout. But maybe talking about it with Joy is gonna help you work through it. Therapists don't come cheap..." Nick flags down the waiter - which, technically, wouldn't have been necessary as Lewis was on the way to our table anyways. After ordering a coffee for himself, my best friend leans back and watches us eat breakfast, raising an eyebrow at the way we bend around each other to reach our food. "Y'know, if you set Joy down on her own chair, you guys would probably have an easier time eating."

"Uh." He's right. He's absolutely right and my mind is blank, no excuse forthcoming - at least not a believable one.

"Nah, the harness is a pain to put on and take off. Besides..." Joy is definitely quicker to think on her feet than I am. Snuggling back against me, rubbing against curiously sensitive nipples, she continues after smelling her freshly baked cinnamon roll and moaning appreciatively. "I like being close to Matt."

"Damn, quit making me jealous," Nick laughs, grinning at me. "Seriously, where did you find Joy? She's almost too good to be true."

"We just sorta... bumped into each other." As I explain or rather bullshit my way through things, I try to focus on my bagel. Let's hope Nick doesn't feel like digging too deep. "One thing led to another, and here we are."

"Fate, kismet, destiny then. How romaaantic." Nick's such an ass, but his grin tells me that he's just teasing.

"Magic and intervention by aliens were in the running, too. And Matt did say he felt like he was dreaming when we first met..." Joy takes a bite of her cinnamon roll and trails off, head lowering to look at her pastry. "Oh. My. God. I LOVE this stuff!"

"Wow, you look like you never had one of those!" With Joy practically creaming herself - crude expression, I know, but with how she's writhing and moaning as she takes bite after bite, relishing the taste, it seems rather fitting - it's pretty easy to see how Nick gets that impression. "If it's really that good, I'll have to try one myself..."

The rest of our breakfast is spent with banter, baked goods and bad jokes, although Nick doesn't feel above flipping off one particularly hard-headed starer that can't be persuaded to turn away just by giving her angry looks. Funny enough, the middle-aged woman seems scandalized by Nick's behavior... But at least there is no major incident that either reveals the secret of Joy and me or leads to altercations of whatever other kind.

The thing is... after breakfast, the next hurdle of our outing presents itself.

Which would be?

Get up, take a shower and get new sheets. Yes, in that order.

Luckily, even though Joy can't feel the unpleasant stickyness on our ass, I can convince her to get up and take a shower. Although, of course, the sodden state of our pussy might play a role, too. After cleaning ourselves - no massage followed by masturbation this time, though - and then changing the sheets, we run into the issue of clothing. Joy is, compared to yesterday, enormous, pretty much doubling the circumference of my hips. Us wearing Jeans? No chance. For now, overstretched boxers and an old shirt for me and one for Joy have to do.

And then, as I think about what to wear with Joy offering helpful advice - or rather teasing comments - I realize what I'm doing: Solving one little problem after the other so I don't have to face the biggest, most unsolvable one. How are we supposed to go out like this? As I sit down, I realize I can't even put my head into my hands and groan, not without hitting the back of Joy's head. But of course she notices me slumping down and worries.

"Hey, something wrong, Matt?"

"Uh, yeah?" I don't want to sound so flippant, but the whole situation is too much for me. Again. "We... are basically stuck here. We can't go out."

"Why not? Just tell everyone we're Siamese twins or something."

"Right, and everyone of my friends is going to be like 'Oh hey, weird I never noticed you and your sister were joined at the hip. Or that you had a sister.'" Besides, there's something else that irks me about that cover story. "And... you know, if we tell them we're brother and sister, we... couldn't be a couple."

"Aww, so you do love me!" Joy twists her body and pulls me into a quick kiss before grinning that mischievous smile that makes my heart beat faster. "I knew, of course. I mean, lovable old me?"

"Mhm, right." Self-esteem issues are just nowhere to be found in the Book of Joy. "Till death do us part, and looking at us, probably not even then. Now, how about we brainstorm a way we can go out?"

And so we do. Joy wants to be stuck inside even less than I do, so we begin wracking our heads on what to do. And as we do, I keep scratching my chest absentmindedly; it feels itchy and a little sore. Maybe because I had Joy's hair brush against my pecs all night? Anyways, we keep bouncing ideas at each other, throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks. And in the end, it's Joy who comes up with something workable.

"We need a baby carrier."

"You're pregnant?!" What? My head feels like mush after almost two hours of dumb ideas. Sorry for jumping to dumb conclusions.

"No, dummy. How would I even... No, we put me into the baby carrier and tell everyone I was born without legs." For emphasis, she slaps mine. "That way, my loving boyfriend can carry me around. Lovingly. And without arousing suspicion."

"That's..." 'fucking dumb' I want to say at first. But... it really isn't. It's the first working idea we had. "Huh."

"See? One day old and already this smart!" The proud smile on Joy's face is infectious. Although that might also be because we probably share one endocrine system. "Now, where do we get one?"

"Not so fast. By now you're kinda too big for a baby carrier. No, we..."

"Are you calling me fat?!" Mock-outrage. Would be more believable if Joy wasn't visible trying not to giggle.

"These are pretty hefty!" I grab Joy's marvelous breasts, making her squeal and giggle as I squeeze and grope, her back pressing against me as she squirms until I stop. "But seriously, you're pretty much regular sized now. A baby carrier won't cut it. We need... straps..."

"Kinky!" Breathing a little heavy, Joy leans her head against my shoulder.

"Not that kind! No, I think I have..."

And I do. Good old hoarder instincts I got from my grandma - I went through three different backpacks since I got to college and couldn't bring myself to throw them away. Which means we now have more than enough material to cobble together something that at least looks like it could carry Joy. And it actually doesn't look like fetish gear. Thank god.

"Decidedly less sexy than I hoped," Joy says, striking a pose in the mirror, pouting a little.

"It wasn't supposed to be," I reply, adjusting one of the straps running from under Joy's arms over my shoulder. "It was supposed to allow us to go out."

"Hmm... still, can't we add something... cute? Lace, or at least... I don't know..."

"Sorry, but I'm not studying fashion design. That's the best I can do," I reply and immediately realize how flippant it sounds so I continue: "But we can go shopping, get a few supplies!"

"Ooh, can we? I want to see the city, and go to a café, and..."

Joy keeps on gushing, and I smile. She's always so full of energy... So, after putting on two of my better shirts together with my gym shorts (hey, they're one of the few pants that fit uns now, lay off me!) and then the strap contraption - constraption? -, we head out.

How is our first outing gonna go?